a notion of spirit

[amuse]

you masculinize
me, open
your joy
as you square
universes, nay
multiply
infinity to
the nth degree
tears fill my
eyes at
your peerless
beauty; you
display its
nth root
(all this in + capacity)
swirls in my
head meld and mold
like so many true
loves, perfect
snowfalls,
sparkles
in a baby's smile,
mirages in the 1960's...

though i failed
at love, you
yet manage to
exalt me
and i beg for mercy
because i cannot
stand this exquisite
rapture.

i lay my mind,
my loyalty
on your altar.

continue
calculating, listening,

waiting for your whispers, my love.




*i know this sounds weird, i was trying to calculate god and then i realized that was impossible/ridiculous so instead decided to run a check on spirit. this was what i couldn't explain, was going to send to you, mono.
sentimental and admittedly obscure, but in a form i can relate to.

[SwtRose]

Comment removed.

[Koa]

though i failed
at love, you
yet manage to
exalt me
and i beg for mercy
because i cannot
stand this exquisite
rapture.




I like this bit :) Though yeah I thought it was a love poem...but then I never realise quickly what poems are about nor I remember to read titles...:rolleyes:

A lot of poems need footnotes or helps for me to understand.... amuse's style is quite mysterious but fascinating, I don't always manage to get the sense but I'm sure it makes sense at least to her. It's not easy poetry... it's not like writing something on a line with no metaphors nor imagination, like telling your best friend about your day on the phone. I also sometimes like to make poems as 'nonsense', as in just following random thoughts... so poetry is various and varied, after all the Futurist passed to history even if to me that's mostly just a bunch of gratuitious nonsense...

[SwtRose]

E-Zine article removed by author.

[atiguhya padma]

SwtRose,

Firstly, no poet can write in a language all can understand. Even if you tried to write a poem in your own language that every user of that language would fully understand, then your poem would most likely be pretty artless.

There are plenty of great poems that few people understand. Eliot’s Four Quartets is a case in point. Had Eliot tried to simplify the Four Quartets he would have created a disaster.

Its all very well to quote Keats, but do you really want the world of poetry to be ruled by 19th C romanticism? I for one don’t.

The fewer constraints on a poet the better. The fewer rules to poetry, the more diverse the world of poets. There are many schools of thought in poetic literature. Keats’ guideline closes the door to many of them.

Lastly. Welcome to the forum. Please don’t slam the door next time you enter.

[amuse]

thank you, Koa and AP.

...i often comment on my poems, SwtRose; i don't pretend to always have an intelligible mind or style.

[SwtRose]

Goodluck with your writing.

[Scheherazade]

I think it is important to remember that when people post their works on here (poetry or prose), it takes a lot of courage because they are not only sharing very personal things but also open themselves up for critism. We should, therefore, be constructive in our criticism and do it most carefully; it is the work we are giving feedback on, not the writer/poet him/herself. Please choose your words and comments carefully; we hope to encourage people to write more, not the otherwise.

However, it is also important to remember, I believe, that when we post our works, we should be prepared for the less favorable views as well as the positive ones and not take them personally.

[amuse]

:) fortunately, i don't post for an audience.

well said, Scher, on both counts.

[amuse]

Swt Rose, i'd prefer that you not send me pm's.

[Koa]

however, it's a shame that SwtRose removed her comments cos even if in a 'strong' way, they expressed her opinion, mostly not shared but personal...

i often remain wordless at poems, not only amuse's, because i barely would be able to say what they are about...but at the same time i can like them for the single bits i understand, or just for the imagery...someone will understand them at a better level... One thing I dont like of my own poetry is how it often is too simple, like no poetry but a random diary entry....

[Scheherazade]

Since this thread has outlived its purpose, I will close it now.

Amuse, if you like, you can post your poem again in another thread.