atmosphere

[wastinaway]

Atmosphere

Mr. Nkukuu sweats in Slaughter
carving African walking sticks
Masai do not carry walking sticks
"Yes, Bwana, it brings a succesful hunt..."
but Bwana does not know
"Yes, Bwana, Papa always carried one..."
Mr. Nkukuu's trunk holds three hundred
"Yes, Bwana, powerful men..."
this one goes on Bwana's hearth
matching Zimbabwe's short-eared elephant
adding, what he calls
atmosphere

[wildbill]

wow, lot said in a small poem. still working on how to do that. any advice?

[wastinaway]

well, I don't really feel qualified to tell anyone how to put his or her thoughts on paper. But I definitely believe in the iceberg--let the weight hide under the surface of the image or action. And don't confuse movement with action. Not my words, but they're from a reliable author. experiment and write. play with rhythm--then you can really see what needs to be cut.

[ryokan]

Once, I was pirated away,
upon the air
in riveted steel.
A dream had dazzled,
and so, I followed.
And what found?
Ancient people reduced to
carving for tourists.
Something would not hold
back the tears.
Something precious.

And all the "taxi drivers"
carry Kalishnikovs 'neath seats,
"light enough for a child to hold"
say the glittering brochures.

Vicious nations that caused this.
These beautiful people engulfed
by the west's few monied kings,
who n'er known a sacred thing,
passed down to the generations,
all in harmony with the Earth.

Homeward, I came, and looked back.
The few who remain are true
to the old ways; but most are
under a new threat.
Give them guns and nice uniforms
and they'll forget the ancestors.
This tragedy, the world will soon
regret.
And I cannot escape the dreams
of their wondrous eyes,
the little ones.... 8)