joseph engraver
09-01-2025, 03:34 PM
Let It Rip up
There is a children’s Rhyme that I had long ago forgotten. When I was writing this short story it suddenly popped into my mind Somehow I now think that it has become relevant to print although why that is? I have not the faintest idea
WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF
Little Girls are made of sugar and spice They smell of flowers, perfumes everything nice: That is what girls are made of Little boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails and always have dirt under their fingernails hat is what boys are made of
Let er Rip
I had almost finished my daily floor exercise when I felt the pressure in my abdomen begin to build There was a time when I was much younger that I would have stopped what I was doing and gone outside the room to relieve the uncomfortable gas buildup ..However I am now eighty seven years old and I live alone in my own home So what the hell..I just let one big fart rip, and boy it was a good one, loud, long and very smelly. It was much different than the timid one I had released in nineteen and fifty-two at the Aladdin movie theater when I was just thirteen years old and was holding hands with Betty Jo Brown
I shall never ever forget that fart, and the valuable lesson learned from it
It all began that Sunday. I had eaten cabbage and smoked salmon for lunch ,then consumed a chocolate milk shake and a large serving of buttered ,UN salted popcorn just before the beginning of the movie show ,which was in living color and called Lassie Come Home.
I had taken Betty Jo Brown there and had spent all most of my three dollars weekly allowance on this outing because she was really cute a little fat, and had by far, the greatest breasts imaginable to a lad my age
Very strategically I had selected our seating in the darkest and most remote corner of the Aladdin Theater. Once we were seated and the show had started I began to maneuver my arm into a position where I had my hand near those luscious melons
She smiled at me and leaned closer, held my hand and then she kissed my fingers. That was the moment my overloaded stomach began to revolt and grumble-as the fart began to press itself inside me, wanting to find a way out.
I resisted the pressure for as long as possible Then started to let the gas escape in small amounts, praying that Betty Jo would not notice.}
Part of my plan worked very well The fart began to exit in whispered secret silence, but as soon as the fumes reached fresh air they exploded into such a breath taking, unbelievable odor that it made my eyes tear up and burn.
I heard Betty Jo gasp, and then she looked at me with the most uncommon expression on her face and asked? Did you do something¿? We were the only two sitting in that corner of the theater and I instantly knew I was screwed, in a desperate attempt of pure stupidity I opted to lie. Hoping save my Sunday afternoon investment what are you talking about? I whispered,
Without another word Betty Jo flew out of her seat, tipped over my extra large root beer soaking the crotch of my new white pegged pants
I stared in stunned silence as she waddled down the aisle and joined a group of her friends, then she turned and raised an accusing finger in my direction
Now, you might ask, what did I learn from this misadventure of my youth? The answer is simple my friend.
When you or any man is with a woman you never fart when she is near, But let it rip when you are alone or if you are in a crowded room and can look innocently around for a person you can stare angrily at,
The End
Words of wisdom from Joseph Engraver
There is a children’s Rhyme that I had long ago forgotten. When I was writing this short story it suddenly popped into my mind Somehow I now think that it has become relevant to print although why that is? I have not the faintest idea
WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF
Little Girls are made of sugar and spice They smell of flowers, perfumes everything nice: That is what girls are made of Little boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails and always have dirt under their fingernails hat is what boys are made of
Let er Rip
I had almost finished my daily floor exercise when I felt the pressure in my abdomen begin to build There was a time when I was much younger that I would have stopped what I was doing and gone outside the room to relieve the uncomfortable gas buildup ..However I am now eighty seven years old and I live alone in my own home So what the hell..I just let one big fart rip, and boy it was a good one, loud, long and very smelly. It was much different than the timid one I had released in nineteen and fifty-two at the Aladdin movie theater when I was just thirteen years old and was holding hands with Betty Jo Brown
I shall never ever forget that fart, and the valuable lesson learned from it
It all began that Sunday. I had eaten cabbage and smoked salmon for lunch ,then consumed a chocolate milk shake and a large serving of buttered ,UN salted popcorn just before the beginning of the movie show ,which was in living color and called Lassie Come Home.
I had taken Betty Jo Brown there and had spent all most of my three dollars weekly allowance on this outing because she was really cute a little fat, and had by far, the greatest breasts imaginable to a lad my age
Very strategically I had selected our seating in the darkest and most remote corner of the Aladdin Theater. Once we were seated and the show had started I began to maneuver my arm into a position where I had my hand near those luscious melons
She smiled at me and leaned closer, held my hand and then she kissed my fingers. That was the moment my overloaded stomach began to revolt and grumble-as the fart began to press itself inside me, wanting to find a way out.
I resisted the pressure for as long as possible Then started to let the gas escape in small amounts, praying that Betty Jo would not notice.}
Part of my plan worked very well The fart began to exit in whispered secret silence, but as soon as the fumes reached fresh air they exploded into such a breath taking, unbelievable odor that it made my eyes tear up and burn.
I heard Betty Jo gasp, and then she looked at me with the most uncommon expression on her face and asked? Did you do something¿? We were the only two sitting in that corner of the theater and I instantly knew I was screwed, in a desperate attempt of pure stupidity I opted to lie. Hoping save my Sunday afternoon investment what are you talking about? I whispered,
Without another word Betty Jo flew out of her seat, tipped over my extra large root beer soaking the crotch of my new white pegged pants
I stared in stunned silence as she waddled down the aisle and joined a group of her friends, then she turned and raised an accusing finger in my direction
Now, you might ask, what did I learn from this misadventure of my youth? The answer is simple my friend.
When you or any man is with a woman you never fart when she is near, But let it rip when you are alone or if you are in a crowded room and can look innocently around for a person you can stare angrily at,
The End
Words of wisdom from Joseph Engraver