Biggus
12-16-2020, 10:08 AM
HUMEROUS HAIKU # 5
I tuck my knees in
To my chest and lean forward.
That’s just how I roll
CROWS HAVE FOUR WING FEATHERS
Crows have four wing feathers,
Ravens have five,
They’re called pinions
So, the difference between
A crow and a raven
Is just a matter of a pinion
HOGWARTS ISN’T A PERFECT SCHOOL # 2
Hogwarts isn’t a perfect school
But there are Heroes by the score
They eagerly arrive aged eleven
And get in through the Gryffindor
THE FORESTRY COMMISSION
There is new website
For the Forestry Commission
To out find information
About any tree, just log in
THERE’S NO FORMAL TRAINING
There’s no formal training
For street cleaners
As far as I know
I am pretty sure
They get straight to work
And pick it up as they go
PARTING THE RED SEA
Moses parted the waters
And left his people in awe
But he had help on the day
In the shape of a sea-saw
AN INTERESTING THOUGHT
An interesting thought
Occurred to me
Just the other day
About those who play
At a recital
And also recite at a play
SPORTING DECEIT
An affair between a Sportscaster
And my wife was my suspicion
And when I found them, they were
In the commentary position
ON THEIR FIRST MISSION TOGETHER
On their first mission together
Aboard the Millennium Falcon
Chewbacca made a Wookiee mistake
When he killed Han
GAMBLING WAS NOT CONDONED
Gambling was not condoned
And using the Force wasn’t done
However, the Jedi Knights
Had a bet regardless and Obi Wan
I DON’T RISE AND SHINE
I don’t rise and shine
After a night of rest
I just caffeinate and then
Hope for the best
WHEN THE HISTORY IS WRITTEN OF BRITAIN
When the history is written of Britain
Historians will just laugh at the joke
About the crazy people in the Country
Who put up with **** from the Woke
I DON’T LIKE TO SPEAK ILL
I don’t like to speak ill
However, without being rude
I have to say you can't trust
A dog to watch your food
YOU MUST LEAVE LIGHTS ON
You must leave lights on in the buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
For if burglars hurt themselves in the dark
Its certain you’ll be the one in the ****e
IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM
If the telephone rings at 4am
Thereby disturbing your slumber
Don’t be angry if it’s not for you
It could have been the right number
HUMEROUS HAIKU # 4
The toughest job that
I ever had, was selling
Doors, from door-to-door
I tuck my knees in
To my chest and lean forward.
That’s just how I roll
CROWS HAVE FOUR WING FEATHERS
Crows have four wing feathers,
Ravens have five,
They’re called pinions
So, the difference between
A crow and a raven
Is just a matter of a pinion
HOGWARTS ISN’T A PERFECT SCHOOL # 2
Hogwarts isn’t a perfect school
But there are Heroes by the score
They eagerly arrive aged eleven
And get in through the Gryffindor
THE FORESTRY COMMISSION
There is new website
For the Forestry Commission
To out find information
About any tree, just log in
THERE’S NO FORMAL TRAINING
There’s no formal training
For street cleaners
As far as I know
I am pretty sure
They get straight to work
And pick it up as they go
PARTING THE RED SEA
Moses parted the waters
And left his people in awe
But he had help on the day
In the shape of a sea-saw
AN INTERESTING THOUGHT
An interesting thought
Occurred to me
Just the other day
About those who play
At a recital
And also recite at a play
SPORTING DECEIT
An affair between a Sportscaster
And my wife was my suspicion
And when I found them, they were
In the commentary position
ON THEIR FIRST MISSION TOGETHER
On their first mission together
Aboard the Millennium Falcon
Chewbacca made a Wookiee mistake
When he killed Han
GAMBLING WAS NOT CONDONED
Gambling was not condoned
And using the Force wasn’t done
However, the Jedi Knights
Had a bet regardless and Obi Wan
I DON’T RISE AND SHINE
I don’t rise and shine
After a night of rest
I just caffeinate and then
Hope for the best
WHEN THE HISTORY IS WRITTEN OF BRITAIN
When the history is written of Britain
Historians will just laugh at the joke
About the crazy people in the Country
Who put up with **** from the Woke
I DON’T LIKE TO SPEAK ILL
I don’t like to speak ill
However, without being rude
I have to say you can't trust
A dog to watch your food
YOU MUST LEAVE LIGHTS ON
You must leave lights on in the buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
For if burglars hurt themselves in the dark
Its certain you’ll be the one in the ****e
IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM
If the telephone rings at 4am
Thereby disturbing your slumber
Don’t be angry if it’s not for you
It could have been the right number
HUMEROUS HAIKU # 4
The toughest job that
I ever had, was selling
Doors, from door-to-door