Literature Network » Christopher Morley » Mince Pie » A Good Home

A Good Home

IN THE SUBURBS

There are a number of empty apartments in the suburbs of our mind that
we shall be glad to rent to any well-behaved ideas.

These apartments (unfurnished) all have southern exposure and are
reasonably well lighted. They have emergency exits.

We prefer middle-aged, reasonable ideas that have outgrown the diseases
of infancy. No ideas need apply that will lie awake at night and disturb
the neighbors, or will come home very late and wake the other tenants.
This is an orderly mind, and no gambling, loud laughter and carnival or
Pomeranian dogs will be admitted.

If necessary, the premises can be improved to suit high-class tenants.

No lease longer than six months can be given to any one idea, unless it
can furnish positive guarantees of good conduct, no bolshevik
affiliations and no children.

We have an orphanage annex where homeless juvenile ideas may be
accommodated until they grow up.

The southwestern section of our mind, where these apartments are
available, is some distance from the bustle and traffic, but all the
central points can be reached without difficulty. Middle-aged,
unsophisticated ideas of domestic tastes will find the surroundings
almost ideal.

For terms and blue prints apply janitor on the premises.

Literature Network » Christopher Morley » Mince Pie » A Good Home