Literature Network » Christopher Morley » Mince Pie » A Marriage Service

A Marriage Service

FOR COMMUTERS

(Fill in railroad as required)

Wilt thou, Jack, have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together
in so far as the ---- Railroad will allow? Wilt thou love her, comfort
her, honor and keep her, take her to the movies, prevent the furnace
from going out, and come home regularly on the 5:42 train?"

"I will."

"Wilt thou, Jill, have this commuter to thy wedded husband, bearing in
mind snowdrifts, washouts, lack of servants and all other penalties of
suburban life? Wilt thou obey him and serve him, love, honor and keep
him, and let him smoke a corncob pipe in the house?"

"I will."

"I, Jack, take thee, Jill, to my wedded wife, from 6 P.M. until 8 A.M.,
as far as permitted by the ---- Railroad, schedule subject to change
without notice, for better, for worse, for later, for earlier, to love
and to cherish, and I promise to telephone you when I miss the train."

"I, Jill, take thee, Jack, to my wedded husband, subject to the
mutability of the suburban service, changing trains at----, to have and
to hold, save when the card club meets on Wednesday evenings, and
thereto I give thee my troth."

Literature Network » Christopher Morley » Mince Pie » A Marriage Service