At a Seaside Town in 1869

(Young Lover's Reverie)

I went and stood outside myself,
   Spelled the dark sky
   And ship-lights nigh,
And grumbling winds that passed thereby.
Then next inside myself I looked,
   And there, above
   All, shone my Love,
That nothing matched the image of.
Beyond myself again I ranged;
   And saw the free
   Life by the sea,
And folk indifferent to me.
O 'twas a charm to draw within
   Thereafter, where
   But she was; care
For one thing only, her hid there!
But so it chanced, without myself
   I had to look,
   And then I took
More heed of what I had long forsook:
The boats, the sands, the esplanade,
   The laughing crowd;
   Light-hearted, loud
Greetings from some not ill-endowed;
The evening sunlit cliffs, the talk,
   Hailings and halts,
   The keen sea-salts,
The band, the Morgenblatter Waltz.
Still, when at night I drew inside
   Forward she came,
   Sad, but the same
As when I first had known her name.

Then rose a time when, as by force,
   Outwardly wooed
   By contacts crude,
Her image in abeyance stood . . .
At last I said:  This outside life
   Shall not endure;
   I'll seek the pure
Thought-world, and bask in her allure.
Myself again I crept within,
   Scanned with keen care
   The temple where
She'd shone, but could not find her there.
I sought and sought.  But O her soul
   Has not since thrown
   Upon my own
One beam!  Yea, she is gone, is gone.