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Thread: conversation

  1. #1
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    conversation

    who needs a menu
    when we've got champagne
    your thin fingers chopstick a thin smoke
    that your lips hug deliquescent
    knee jerk flip of my light
    toward that smile,
    out of sight
    ruby red, pearly white
    'neath the dim, vintage light

    enter mister big shot
    in his fine tailored suit
    social heft thrown all around
    seems a spotlight makes him glow
    he's the hit of the show
    as the girls gravitate
    cigar rings make them wait
    thumbs down, i turn around

    to your peach satin gown
    with a v-neck going down
    auburn curls as a crown
    pearls at each lobe, weighted down
    doubled up, matching pearl laces your neck
    hoping that we'll never ask for the check

    it's all cool
    with the mumbling crowd
    not as loud as the sound
    of your screaming green eyes
    our hands touch as our pulses intensify
    and our lines come naturally
    champagne and our chemistry
    conversation is jazz to me
    Last edited by cogs; 10-18-2009 at 08:12 PM.

  2. #2
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    I like this cogs... it has a natural flow, an easy romance!

  3. #3
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Hip hop poetry! Well done. I like it.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  4. #4
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    lol virgil... i guess back then it would have been called bebop. thank you sophia, it's tough to make a simple jazz beat.

  5. #5
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    "Chopstick" as a verb, and you pull it off so wonderfully! Great job!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #6
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    i was thinking her thin fingers reminded me of chopsticks (probably cause of the menu and food). thank you for reading everyone.

  7. #7
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    I love this. Simple, lyrical, ravishingly rhythmic. Very impressionistic too; it paints the scene perfectly and the words makes the action glide. Excellent!
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  8. #8
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    I read On the Road and it naturally reminds me of the Beats. Who wouldn't like this poem?

  9. #9
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    thank you jersea.

  10. #10
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Very figuratively presented and your choice of words have vivacity

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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