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Thread: the loneliest corner in a bedroom

  1. #1

    the loneliest corner in a bedroom

    this is very personal to me. its about a friend of mine

    the loneliest corner in a bedroom

    so far gone.
    so not the type for sympathetic eyes.
    but she finds solace there.
    she finds empty silence there.

    she is too small in her oversized room.
    but one corner is hers.
    ripped wallpaper and a poor attempt at fixing it.
    yeah it is all hers.

    she is a ball.
    see how far she can squeeze her knees to her chest.
    much practice for a girl who cant get out.
    he wont bother her anymore.

    too much freedom given to her elders.
    too many liberties to take a life.
    their liberties.
    her life.

    who would have thought.
    so many beautiful things.
    but her favorite spot.
    the loneliest corner in a bedroom.

    right and gone
    If it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down, every picture you paint, i will paint myself out.

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    wow, thats amazing. i see the connection with what i wrote. something so beautiful that is so easily lost, silently living where no one sees it for what it is. i don't know if you follow.....but i think you might know what i'm talking about. i think i might print this one out. *alissa*

  3. #3
    Good morning, Campers! Jay's Avatar
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    Great poem, right and gone. Almost felt as if I was in that room as well... and I sometimes am .
    I like it when you sign the poem in the end, it sometimes fits in the poem if you know what I mean... it's a nice line to end the poem.
    I have a plan: attack!

  4. #4
    thanks guys... i do like it as well, but i wish that sometimes i wish i didnt have a reason to write it... you might know what i mean... alissa, the way you have interpret it is exactly how i wrote it. for that reason being.
    rightandgone
    If it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down, every picture you paint, i will paint myself out.

  5. #5
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
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    this is trembling with sadness, the brevity of the sentences adds to that, i think, creating a beautifully heartbreaking piece. thanks for sharing.

    p.s.
    i love the brand new quote in your sig
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  6. #6
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    It's quite wonderful how you create the mood, the inner being of this friend of yours, with such objective references to the physical space she's in. On the one hand it's a deeply empathetic poem but at the same time quite respectful of her own 'space,' as if you don't want to intrude one her.

    And I second paperleaves' appreciation of your signature line.

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