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Thread: On writing

  1. #1

    On writing

    I write
    because I donīt have words,
    I have pictures
    and when
    I can turn one into a sentence
    a wisp inside my belly
    makes a pirouette
    and takes a bow.

    ( I asked in the general chat if wisp can be used instead of sprite or fairy. I like the word wisp better. Tell me if it seems strange. I do not want it to sound like strands of hair is floating around in my stomach! Not sure of the title. A good title is hard to find. )
    Last edited by Isagel; 05-05-2006 at 12:19 PM. Reason: gnomes stole an o
    "Man was made for joy and woe;
    And when this we rightly know
    Through the world we safely go" Blake

  2. #2
    kwizera mir's Avatar
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    i like it. sprite or fairy sounds a bit too animate . . . . wisp isn't quite the best word, but it works. nice poem!
    No day but today



    -God is real, unless proclaimed integer-

  3. #3
    I think that wisp works really well. A lovely simple little poem.

    By the way, it's 'pirouette'.

  4. #4
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isagel
    I write
    because I donīt have words,
    I have pictures
    and when
    I can turn one into a sentence
    a wisp inside my belly
    makes a piruette
    and takes a bow.

    ( I asked in the general chat if wisp can be used instead of sprite or fairy. I like the word wisp better. Tell me if it seems strange. I do not want it to sound like strands of hair is floating around in my stomach! Not sure of the title. A good title is hard to find. )
    i dance,
    because i don't have lights,
    i have darkness.
    (just my reaction to the first reading of your first lines)

    a delightful work, Isagel!
    but the title sounds like those of essays, on study, on beauty, etc.


    (btw, does writing excite your belly?)
    Last edited by white camellia; 05-05-2006 at 11:30 AM.
    There is no polite way
    of being happy

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Grumbleguts
    I think that wisp works really well. A lovely simple little poem.

    By the way, it's 'pirouette'.
    Thank you, I blame the typo on gnomes.

    And thank you all for the nice comments. Iīll stick with wisp, then.

    White camellia - thank you for the small poem. Nah, it doesnīt excite my belly. It makes me joyous.
    "Man was made for joy and woe;
    And when this we rightly know
    Through the world we safely go" Blake

  6. #6
    It's very nice. Almost like a haiku in its simplicity.

    I like the wisp very much - I did wonder when it might appear after your plea for help yesterday. It fits a lot better than gnome would have done.

  7. #7
    Now I am very pleased! Thank you for the help on the wisp question.
    Gnome in the belly ... that sounds bad. Like "Alien".
    "Man was made for joy and woe;
    And when this we rightly know
    Through the world we safely go" Blake

  8. #8
    still waiting to be found amanda_isabel's Avatar
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    i like it. very simple and yet very meaningful. but, you're right, finding a good title is hard. don't worry, it'll come to you soon enough
    ...don't need therapy to rehabilitate my smile...


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