Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Omnipresence

  1. #1
    Registered User sparr0w's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Days which did result in a twisted question mark
    Posts
    110
    Blog Entries
    2

    Omnipresence

    Nobody else saw it,
    but I did...
    Flashing across the heavens,
    Pale and opaque;
    Breathtaking in its ambiguity.
    Nothing preceeds and nothing follows;
    Just a passing moment,
    one such that it encapsulates the genius
    of God's greatest creations-
    NOW
    (and just like that, it's gone)

    A blinding July afternoon at 3:47 A.M.
    in the cold March winds,
    as the winter and the spring
    engage in their yearly death-match.
    (and just like that, it's gone)

    No one else saw it, but they diddn't have to.
    This was my moment,
    and you must be left to yours.

    You see, this secret is this,
    and this is where everyone's been getting it wrong-
    The truth is that
    beauty lies not in peace,
    nor does it reside in chaos.
    No, true beauty,
    for those who can say they understand such things,
    dwells only within the transition between.
    The turning point from one extreme to another.
    Hate to love.
    Health to sickness to health...
    This is the human experience,
    (as best I can figure, at least).

    It's all really quite bizarre,
    once you get a handle on it.
    Much like playing "Follow The Leader" with a hurricane.

    -And just like that, my friend, we're gone...


    **Thank you for reading. This is my first post in a week, but same rules apply. All feedback welcome and appreciated, including criticism (as long as it's constructive
    ...Ride life into perfect laughter. It's the only good fight left. -Charles Bukowski

  2. #2
    Falling down like an omen lucidnightmares's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Nova-Scotia
    Posts
    261
    alot of thought was put into this i take it.
    i really like how it questions the aspect of beauty, everyone has there own theory on it, and your is one i agree with, of course i have my own but it`s not important right now.

    all about your moment, for some reason i think of a near death experience.

    the style in this one is something i enjoyed.


    "It's all really quite bizarre,
    once you get a handle on it.
    Much like playing "Follow The Leader" with a hurricane."

    something about that line i didn`t really like as much, it seamed to me to weigh it down.
    but that`s just me, and lately i`m not in any position to criticize.

    what i used to be will pass away and then you`ll see that all i want to know is happiness for you and me...

  3. #3
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    8,746
    Blog Entries
    1
    There are some quite wonderful lines in this, though it's the integrity, the honest witnessing that I valued throughout.

    But these lines really struck me:

    Quote Originally Posted by sparr0w View Post
    You see, this secret is this,
    and this is where everyone's been getting it wrong-
    The truth is that
    beauty lies not in peace,
    nor does it reside in chaos.
    No, true beauty,
    for those who can say they understand such things,
    dwells only within the transition between.
    The turning point from one extreme to another.
    and

    It's all really quite bizarre,
    once you get a handle on it.
    Much like playing "Follow The Leader" with a hurricane.
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  4. #4
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Smile

    Really, really liked this line:

    No one else saw it, but they diddn't have to.
    This was my moment,
    and you must be left to yours.
    sitting here thinking: "True that!"
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  5. #5
    Registered User sparr0w's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Days which did result in a twisted question mark
    Posts
    110
    Blog Entries
    2
    Thanks everyone for your feedback so far. This was my first post in a week, and it really feels great to be back on these boards. Kind of starting to feel like a second family. Thank you so much! Peace- chris
    ...Ride life into perfect laughter. It's the only good fight left. -Charles Bukowski

  6. #6
    Registered User sparr0w's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Days which did result in a twisted question mark
    Posts
    110
    Blog Entries
    2
    Oh, and on a second though, lucid, yeah I have to agree with you about that line. You pointed out one of my worst habbits- adding too much. I have a long history of mucking up good poems and essays by adding just one line too many. Kind of an attempt to get in a last word, I suppose, but never really pulled off the way I would like.
    ...Ride life into perfect laughter. It's the only good fight left. -Charles Bukowski

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •