Form Poem Contest

[Pendragon]

More poems, anyone?

[Pendragon]

BUMP!

[poetjo]

Here's an entry from a newbie!


Damned Watch

Time is a hostage, held captive on my wrist.
I let time rule me, it's oppression skintight.
But does time really matter, does it exist?

My grief runs bone deep for the chances I've missed,
This truth has come through the eyes of wise hindsight,
Time is a hostage held captive on my wrist.

Time's heart broke at the moment of my first kiss,
I still loved him when I lost him to time's wild fight.
But does time really matter, does it exist?

The years have all gone, time's high cost I resist,
My youth is long dead, all mist in the moonlight.
Time is a hostage, held captive on my wrist.

Attacking time through my life I now insist
Was a vain, wasted battle, I'm now contrite.
But does time really matter, does it exist?

I stare hell in the eye, God's help I enlist.
The hours are waning, my death's in the limelight.
Time is a hostage, held captive on my wrist.
But does time really matter, does it exist?


poetjo

[Pendragon]

Newbies always wlecome. poetjo!

[Pendragon]

The old clock is ticking now people! Get those poems in!

[lucidnightmares]

theres still time, yay!
i really wanna try my hand at this one too.
here we go, fixed it up.


does he remain
when i am absent?
so grotesque, this man
his eyes,
allways gazing
with stupid look on his face,
staring at me as
if i`m the one
trapped inside

trapped inside
if i`m the one
staring at me as
with a stupid look on his face
allways gazing,
his eyes
this man,so grotesque
when i am absent
does he remain?

[Pendragon]

Due to death in the family and my own health being bad, the contest being ended today, and no poems having being submitted for days, this is the final judging. Thanks to everyone who entered!

Pendragon

Form Poetry Contest Final

Symphony: The Naive Noesis:
You had a really good villanelle and I think this stanza was the one that stood out the most for me:

The world begets, the world forgets. We forget our histories,
And nod it is only gravity for which the earth is round.
If only we had time enough to serve the trivialities,

I will be eternally grateful to you for your bravery in starting this round. As I go first so many times, I know how hard it is to take that first step. Well done!

astrophysical: Villanelle to a Dutch Summer: There was only one thing you did that I disliked. At the very beginning, you descried your own poem as “lame”. Do not do that. What you write is yours and should be treasured in your own eyes at least. To decry it yourself will make editors not take you seriously at all. Fortunately, I am not one of those editors! This is your best stanza, but the whole villanelle resounds with beautiful imagery. Well done!

Fragrant lemongrass grows sweet where those young foals graze,
The sodium sun bakes the ground hard under the foots sole
While clover fields melt into an amythest haze.

Ah, sweet clover…

thefifthelement: Missing: A real gut wrenching, tear-jerking villanelle! I kept seeing John Walsh’s face and remembering how he lost his son. Terse, short lines for a villanelle, but you made it work with your subject. Well Done. Best stanza, I think was this one:

He was wearing trousers with pockets on
the knee, and a t-shirt egg yolk yellow.
Please help me, have you seen my son?

That egg yolk yellow shirt says it all…

AuntShecky: A Villenelle: You have a wonderful imagination and a great feel for the style of poem, Auntie. That said, how come you give it such an unimaginative name? You know, I have always believed that the name of a work is sometimes the thing that makes it immortal and not particularly the work itself. I liked your villanelle very much, it is carefully crafted and offers the reader the eternal question of why we are here. Well Done! To say truth, it’s hard to pick a favorite stanza:

Neither earnest nor sly intent puffs up a luckless sail.
When God cleaves to the meek, then God help the merely clever.
Our lives are tiny ships, tossed and shifting in a gale.

I think that “God help the merely clever.” is what does it!...

alakungfu: Reel of Options: You had a bit of trouble with your villanelle, but you persevered and it reads very well! Set up is fine and everything looks good. Well done! Nice stanza here:

Tedium lapses unfocussed excesses tnat yet wear
And Opportunity gives us leave forget those faults conserved.
Chance has a cause to desert its ways and viscerally forswear.

One thing you might not want to do. People don’t want to have to get out the dictionary to read poetry. Watch the big words. They look good on paper, yes, and you and I know their meanings. But they may stumble some people. Careful.

poetjo: Damned Watch: A newbie dropping in on a contest for the first time. This is a fine villanelle. You obviously have written this form before, and you do a nice job of descriptive writing here. Well Done! My favorite verse is your wrap-up conclusion:

I stare hell in the eye, God's help I enlist.
The hours are waning, my death's in the limelight.
Time is a hostage, held captive on my wrist.
But does time really matter, does it exist?

I like the whole idea…

lucidnightmares: (unnamed): Unfortunately, even after contacting you and telling you to look at the poem above you to see how to set up your poem, you still got it wrong. What you did was go all the way back to the beginning, and it’s even wrong for that, because the originals had to perfect reverse like this:

Paris in Spring—
Road side café
Peter met Dorothy
Vis-à-vis, teat-à-têat—
Love at once!
They embraced. They kissed.
He gave her flowers.
They walked away happy.

Happy, away walked they.
Flowers her gave he.
Kissed They. Embraced they.
Once at love…
Têat-à-têat, vis-à-vis—
Dorothy met Peter
Café side road—
Spring in Paris…

You are disqualified, Lucid!

Our winner is: After much careful consideration, the newbie, PoetJo! That is one incredible villanelle! Congratulations! Now you may choose the next form for the next contest and set the date for its conclusion. And you are the judge, jury, and hangman!

Thanks to you all for entering! This villanelle just couldn’t be beaten!

Pen

I stare hell in the eye, God's help I enlist.
The hours are waning, my death's in the limelight.
Time is a hostage, held captive on my wrist.
But does time really matter, does it exist?

[lucidnightmares]

haha oops
owell`s good job PoetJo

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks for the feedback Pen & thanks for picking such an interesting form! Hope things are okay with you.

Congratulations PoetJo

[Pendragon]

Oh, yes. To keep a promise. alakungfu originally wrote a poem that is a variation on the villanelle form, which I will call a "Stretched Villanelle." He kept the form and rhyme, but not the repeating lines. I think it quite a masterpiece. See what you think.

Stretched Villanelle by alafungfu

The mists of yesterdays gone by give off a motley glare,
Particularly if our past mistakes with relish once observed
Return to haunt us and our circumstances made bare.

The challenge of reformation, most propitious dare,
The average remedy ensures even that Justice is served.
The hope of ages of improvement remains to all a care.

Review the duration of causations, enticing with great flair
Engaging in absolved affairs, reaping as deserved
The life that culminated in the keys of destiny fair.

Tedium lapses situational excesses that leave wear
And Opportunity gives us leave to forget those faults conserved.
Chance has cause to desert its ways and finds the means to swear.

Fortune, having loosed its hold on random times by its square,
is doting on its twin Due Course, celebrated yet unnerved.
Both siblings run in different roads but their lots they do compare.

The ultimate consideration, reasoned and aware
Becomes the private delivery mechanism, rueful and reserved.
The slightest little complication teases the grace off a stare
And leaves the flagrant means of options in their allegorical lair.

[poetjo]

Hi Everyone!
I apologize for not responding sooner to the honour of having won the villanelle contest! It was quite unexpected as I'm so new to the forum and I thank you Pendragon for your kind comments!

I've read the thread to see what forms have already been written by all you wonderful poets and have been bouncing some ideas around in my head to come up with another form to try.

I'd like everyone to write a piece of poetry of only twenty-six words (not including the title). The first word of the poem begins with the letter "a", the next word begins with the letter "b"....and continues until the 26th word in your poem begins with the letter "z". I believe this is a contemporary version of what's called the Abecedarian poem.

Here's an example:

Socrate's Death

Ancient brilliance
calmly died,
erased forever.

Grief's haunting
irony: justice
knows loss.

Men needing
obscene power,
quaintly removed
Socrates,
tasting uneasy
vengeance.

Widowed Xanthippe
yearned
Zen.


I wrote this one a while back and it was a lot of fun to write - I found having a dictionary handy was really helpful!!

The deadline for this contest will be in three weeks time which makes it Thursday, April 10.

Happy writing!!!
poetjo

[symphony]

Thanks Pen, for those wonderful words.
Congrats PoetJo, I'll see if I can make it in time for this round. Looks like fun.

[alakungfu]

Here's my go. I hope someone can make sense of it.

Amnesty

apple
bodes calumny,
dearth ever feckless

grievous histories
immured jealously,
kneading light manners
next-of-precondition

quell reason stemming
tribute,
ushered venerable
worth

xylophoning yore -- Zenith.

[lucidnightmares]

i had to use a dictionary for this one
as my vocabulary isn`t that amazing
haha owell`s hopefully i did better on this one


antagonistic beliefs clarify dreams
ever falling

glass happiness impales
jesters kick lonely men
nowhere, only pain

quality resists sleep
thrust upon viral wolfs
Xerophilous youth zombiefied

[Pendragon]

Tough form!

Propaganda

Always believing calumnies
doesn’t empower false gods—
heroes inevitably justify knowing light—
meaning, not opaque perversions,
quailing righteous spirit—
truth underscores victory!
With xenogenesis youthfulness zoom!

Pendragon