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Thread: Before you leave...

  1. #1
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    Post Before you leave...

    My dear…. I guess I'm going to call you "Producer"… because of all the chemicals my body produces when you touch me with your whispers and words… because of the emotions that have been created for and by you…
    It has been a year… a year that have changed my whole world… a year that have created a new me… a year that have transformed me into a woman…
    I don't know what to say… except that saying goodbye is the harshest way to end an era… yes, I think our relationship has been an era… it has done a lot to and for me that nothing will even erase…
    My tears are hiding beneath my faked relaxed expressions… and my voice is trembling with confusion when spelling the harshest words ever… my all will miss you… my soul will keep calling for your sweet spirit that has always rescued me from my darkness… and my body will lust yours with innocent desire…
    I'll always love you my darling… despite the end of our relationship, the end of our era, the end of the story our fate weaved with rusty needles… and closed eyes…

    Remember me,
    I'll always love you…
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

  2. #2
    Sweet farewell, Good Nite
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    Pretty, the piece is well written, it's sweet, maybe lovely. There's nothing wrong with the sentiment. Maybe it's overdone. I'm more concerned with the content, I read it and I can't tell if you or Anne Rice wrote it, or John Grisham, or Oprah. You don't make that distinction for me here, and that's what, in my humble opinion, makes the writer a writer.
    "He was nauseous with regret when he saw her face again, and when, as of yore, he pleaded and begged at her knees for the joy of her being. She understood Neal; she stroked his hair; she knew he was mad."
    ---Jack Kerouac, On The Road: The Original Scroll

  3. #3
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jon1jt View Post
    Pretty, the piece is well written, it's sweet, maybe lovely. There's nothing wrong with the sentiment. Maybe it's overdone. I'm more concerned with the content, I read it and I can't tell if you or Anne Rice wrote it, or John Grisham, or Oprah. You don't make that distinction for me here, and that's what, in my humble opinion, makes the writer a writer.
    oh.. thanks a lot.. i really love what you've written!! glad you like it...
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

  4. #4
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    This is a vital expression generated from the core of the heart. It touches.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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