Freo Markets

[Delta40]

The iron gates of the market open
and freshly netted fish
suck in their fate on iced benches.

Lovely whiting. Come and get your whiting.

Crystals and dream catchers
dangle and snare us in their webs
while local art is framed against
crumbling sandstone walls.

Zara knows your future through the cards.

Where a local busker sings
'You can't always get what you want'
as old women bustle to get what they need
in fruit and veg.

Fresh strawberries only 99 cents a punnet!

At the cheese stall a child
pinches her nose at the sharp odour
and yanks urgently at a shirt-tail

Can I have a bag of freckles?

Ships dock at the port
and world weary mariners
throw back schooners of liquid amber
eyeing beauties in the crowd.

[Hawkman]

Very nicely observed piece, Delta. I loved: "freshly netted fish / suck in their fate on iced benches." (though it does rather imply that they're still wriggling) and this is really nice:

"Crystals and dream catchers
dangle and snare us in their webs
while local art is framed against
crumbling sandstone walls"

As a series of snapshots it functions very well; but the images are independent and a little isolated. This is not a criticism, merely an observation. If you wished to convey the impression of snapshots, then it is well achieved. But I wonder if you could also have made the images flow into each other more; convey an impression of sauntering through the market. i.e. rather than:

"A child pinches her nose..." might be introduced like this,

"At the cheese stall a child
pinches her nose at the sharp odour
and yanks urgently at a shirt-tail"

and instead of "a local busker..." "where a local busker..."

This would have the effect of linking the images and relating them to the sense of place. Like I said, not a criticism, just a suggestion. It works as it is, and it very much depends on what your intention was when writing.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

Good point Hawk. thanks for your suggestions.

[AuntShecky]

I've told you this so many times that I'm beginning to sound like a broken record (though you're probably too young to remember vinyl):

It's an honor for me to appear on the same website as you, Delta!

[Delta40]

Believe me auntie, I'm old enough to remember vinyl! When I was in Rome this year I bought some lovely vinyls - Star Wars, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Mamas & the Papas...