I wish I could cast this mantle away

[jurisprudent]

I wish I could cast this mantle away,
And walk naked from all doubts, pains and regrets,
And glide on clear clean ice
Without the burden of this mantle
Of sorrows and lies
That hangs on my shoulders
And brings me down to the barren earth of my lifetime.
I wish I could cast this heavy mantle away
And walk away into a flaming sunset of clean soul-piercing lights
And simply disappear. Only a tray of ashes behind me, charcoals left astray.
And this mantle will dissolve and absorb into the earth,
Penetrating the barren soil, liquefied into running streams of poison,
Nurturing the roots of a Joshua tree in the end of all ends,
By the final sunset,
By the glaring end of light.
We shall be one then, at last, alas.

[cafolini]

Patience. LOL

[jurisprudent]

would you clarify?

[Grit]

Oh just ignore cafolini. Hes not trying to have a conversation, he's a troll. I just added him to my ignore list I suggest you do too, you won't be missing anything other than half baked obscure oneliners.

As for the poem, I think it's got fantastic imagery. Slide on ice. Liquefy poison running in streams. I thought those were both vivid and awesome.

I could be wrong but line six reads weird for me. Perhaps it should be hang not hangs.

Line eleven and twelve have tray and then astray, I thought it seemed unnatural, brought me out of the action.

Just a few small things, but overall I enjoyed the striking imagery.

[Jack of Hearts]

An unfortunate fact of life is that Mr. Folini is not a troll and posts with in a post-scholastic fashion. However, perhaps even more discouraging, it seems that his psyche never escaped limbo.







J

[PrinceMyshkin]

The line should read "dissolve and BE ABSORBED" Apart from which it's a magnificent poem; it could easily have become maudlin or lugubrious but there's a dignity to it that offsets that possibility.

[Delta40]

Too many 'mantles' for me.

[Silas Thorne]

I thought the same thing as Delta, too many uses of 'mantle.' But I do like the rhyming of 'away' and 'astray'.

Disco inferno.