De mortuis nil nisi bonum
Chapter 1: Introduction.
For those that are partial to a drink; sitting at The Chesterfield Bar on a quiet afternoon in May is an experience somewhat akin to a fervent Catholic watching Pope Francis saying High Mass in St Peters. Not that either of the bar maids bore the slightest resemblance to the Holy Father, for Mandy and Brandy were respectively; lithe in tight jeans and full chested with a plunging neck line.
Outside on the sidewalks, at the more popular end of Main Street, it was clear, hot and humid with only a light breeze to relieve the oppression of those exposed to the urban Dallas elements.
But inside it was cool and Desmond Burke, by now on his third drink was viewing the altar of glistening bottles that stretched the full length of the bar shelf upon sacred shelf before him. He was from Boston originally, but by a series of indifferent marriages and lucrative jobs had somehow gravitated towards this Lone Star State.
Today he was in an exceptionally amiable mood and planned to while away the whole afternoon imbibing various long and cool beverages. And Desmond was always happy when the immediate future held the prospect of a drink.
When he had initially strode in an hour ago, Mandy had already set up his usual and with knowledge born of experience, soon began the preparation of a second.
“You want to try the Oswald, Des?” she enquired. “You really should eat something when you drink. It’s ham, pork belly and bacon on a Panini.”
“Thanks Mandy, but I have no idea what a “Panini” is, and I suppose you would not believe me if I told you I was Jewish?”
She laughed and went down the bar to gossip with Brandy, busy polishing glasses.
Desmond sipped, rattled the ice against the sides and relaxed, lazily contented, his brain slowing to about one revolution per minute.
Finally he happened to glance round at the tables behind him and noticed a dimutive, dapper individual in a black suit watching him closely.


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I quite like the subordinate deaths idea - reminds me a bit of Pratchett's Rinsewind the Wizard who became a pet project of the Discworld's anthropomorphic personification of the great leveller. Rinsewind , however, kept refusing to die, so Death lost interest and sent Scrofula to collect him. Scrofula wasn't any more successful, by the way. 