Aphorism #70 Know how to Refuse.

[Admin]

Aphorism #70 Know how to Refuse.

One ought not to give way in everything nor to everybody. To know how to refuse is therefore as important as to know how to consent. This is especially the case with men of position. All depends on the how. Some men's No is thought more of than the Yes of others: for a gilded No is more satisfactory than a dry Yes. There are some who always have No on their lips, whereby they make everything distasteful. No always comes first with them, and when sometimes they give way after all, it does them no good on account of the unpleasing herald. Your refusal need not be point-blank: let the disappointment come by degrees. Nor let the refusal be final; that would be to destroy dependence; let some spice of hope remain to soften the rejection. Let politeness compensate and fine words supply the place of deeds. Yes and No are soon said, but give much to think over.


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[cafolini]

This is true for maintaining integrity. Back in the 70's there was Manuel Smith who had written a best seller, When I Say No I Feel Guilty. It was a very interesting book. Dr. Smith ran a talk show out of it. The book's still ranked high by psychologists.