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Thread: Twilights Last Gleaming

  1. #1
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
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    Twilights Last Gleaming

    Twilight’s last Gleaming
    by
    Steven Hunley


    We all know you’re out there.

    And what’s more important, what you’re thinking. Where you are hiding. What you’re hiding from us. We know what you smell like beneath the exterior cracks, between the fissures in your cerebellum. What your tastes are, who you love and who you hate, who you have no further use for.

    You might as well come in.

    Right now we are aware of what you’re reading, how your eyes trace dark intricate patterns of ink on our page to interpret their meanings. Knowing what you make of it, how you feel, is not beyond our comprehension. There’s nothing we don’t know about you. Intimacy is our middle name, and all our other names too.

    Right now, it’s time for you to obey. Don’t take your eyes off the screen. Process each and every word with care. Surrender to our language. Embrace our final solution. Forget all restraints and accept the inevitable. It’s time for you to share our goals.

    Nobody loves you. No one remembers your name. Nobody but us.

    You want it to end. It’s much too distressing.

    We feel the same way.


    © Steven Hunley

    Thank you Red Rider and Lunatic Fringe

    http://youtu.be/IK-nVzp5NbE and VZQK502
    Last edited by Steven Hunley; 10-30-2012 at 04:36 PM.

  2. #2
    MANICHAEAN MANICHAEAN's Avatar
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    A complete change in style Steve. Compelling and creepy.
    A phrase came to mind “Closer than the very air you breathe.”
    Best regards
    M.

  3. #3
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
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    I swear this creeped me out too! It was that awful video. But your phrase is great. Hows about I add the lines: We're closer than you think. Closer than the very air you breathe.

    I knew I couldn't keep it up for long, it had to be short to preserve the effect in the reader. Not my idea, Poe's.

    Happy Halloween everybody!
    Last edited by Steven Hunley; 10-30-2012 at 04:38 PM.

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    I was tempted to respond in kind, but this is your thread it's a good start, you could make something more of this, I hope you will. Very atmospheric. Sorry but I've not been able to check out the link yet, since the IOS6 upgrade I've not been able to follow YouTube links on the iPad. Will do when I can.

    Live and be well - H

  5. #5
    MANICHAEAN MANICHAEAN's Avatar
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    Steve
    On an unrelated note, have you read Poe's "The Imp of the Perverse?"

  6. #6
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Reminds me of the opening to each weekly episode of "The Outer Limits." You're probably much too young to remember that show.

  7. #7
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
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    reponse to responses

    Twilights Last Gleaming



    Twilight’s last Gleaming
    by
    Steven Hunley


    We know you’re out there.

    And what’s more important, what you’re thinking. Where you are hiding. What you’re hiding from us. We know what you smell like beneath the exterior cracks, between the fissures in your cerebellum. What your tastes are, who you love and who you hate, who you have no further use for.


    It's no use hiding. You might as well come in.


    Right now we are aware of what you’re reading, how your eyes trace dark intricate patterns of ink on our page to interpret their meanings. Knowing what you make of it, how you feel, is not beyond our comprehension. There’s nothing we don’t know about you. Intimacy is our middle name, and all our other names too.

    Right now, it’s time for you to obey. Don’t take your eyes off the screen. Process each and every word with care. Surrender to our language. Embrace our final solution. Forget all restraints and accept the inevitable. It’s time for you to share our goals.

    Nobody loves you. Nobody cares. No one remembers your name. Nobody but us.

    We have ways to make you talk.


    There's too much probing and poking. It's much too intrusive. You might as well take the gas.

    You want it to end.

    It’s much too distressing.

    We feel the same way.


    © Steven Hunley 2012


    I added a bit more, but true to Poe's idea of "effect" have to make it short. And as uncomfortable as possible. And yes, Auntie, I remember the "we are in control of the vertical, we are in control of the horizontal," etc. bit. And although I have read most of Poe, I can't remember that one. Man, I'll have to do that for sure! The bit I added has no relation to Nazi's or the final solution, by the way. It's more about the way I feel when I go to the dentist!

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