Alpha Males: Aye or Nay?

[Emil Miller]

I thought those Cambridge grads were supposed to have some brains.

I can see the husband coming home hoping to get lucky. He's pleased to find his wife already naked in bed. He's puzzled to find the window open. When he picks up the over sized male underwear still lying on the floor his wife starts feeding him a story along with the name of the alpha male wannabe. The husband searches for the guy and finds address, photos and confirms underwear size. The wife texts the wannabe telling him her husband is about to do something rash. The wannabe's back living with his parents.

Well he admitted that he didn't get a very good degree.
In the first account, he was already known to the husband as they used to meet in various pubs in town. It was only when he went into a one of the pubs and the barman told him that the husband had come in carrying a hatchet in the hope of finding him there that he decided to leave town.
The second instance he related was seperate from the first. On that ocassion, he actually escaped via a drainpipe outside the woman's bedroom.
The things men will do for a bit of nooky!

[JuniperWoolf]

i just love the ladies of this forum. They're so...alpha.

Hah!

[Darcy88]

I think the great question surrounding relationships is whether two type-As can be happy together or whether it is preferable for a type A to pair up with a type B. I had two relationships in the past six months, one with a type A, the other with a type B. I really don't think it matters. I preferred the type A. I am still in love with the type A. Two type As together makes for fireworks, but the intensity of the feelings is worth it. I'd never had a relationship with someone who challenged me as much as she. She was my intellectual equal, if not superior, a veritable genius. She was physically imposing both in terms of beauty and because of the fact that she was simply a tough young woman who practiced martial arts. So I don't think opposites attract. I think men and women are complimentary already in the way they are each made by evolution and God. What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on. Thus turns the wheel of Ixion.

[YesNo]

What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on.

Is Type A (Alpha Male/Female) and Type B (Beta Male/Female)?

I think you are right that one should be prepared to work one's butt off in a relationship, but I don't think failure is as disastrous as you portray it. One person I admire who offers personal advice is Laura Day. She says there are always second chances available and everything is "good luck". She might be a bit overly optimistic, but I think she's on to something.

[Alexander III]

I think the great question surrounding relationships is whether two type-As can be happy together or whether it is preferable for a type A to pair up with a type B. I had two relationships in the past six months, one with a type A, the other with a type B. I really don't think it matters. I preferred the type A. I am still in love with the type A. Two type As together makes for fireworks, but the intensity of the feelings is worth it. I'd never had a relationship with someone who challenged me as much as she. She was my intellectual equal, if not superior, a veritable genius. She was physically imposing both in terms of beauty and because of the fact that she was simply a tough young woman who practiced martial arts. So I don't think opposites attract. I think men and women are complimentary already in the way they are each made by evolution and God. What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on. Thus turns the wheel of Ixion.

Type A's only make each other unhappy in the long run, especially if they have destructive personalities. But a type A in my experience, is unable to fall in love with a type B. They are the girls who you think you like but as soon as you sleep with them you become unbearably repulsed by them and wish that they had never existed so that you would never have too look at them again. I think the starting point for love is always a perception of equality. At least for me it is, I am the type of guy who when he meet a girl who m akes me think "wow, she is not inferior me" that makes me start falling. By inferior I mean in beauty, in character and excitement for life. I have never cared for intelligence as it seems there are plenty of intelligent people and some are dull as drying dung and other are fascinating, so it seems better just to judge people as either dull or fascinating as that is more to the purpose. I am one of those people whom, will think any person stupid no matter their intelligence if I find them boring. Also bravery, that is the biggest turn on for me, and likewise cowardice is the biggest turn off. And Alpha's may be called reckless and stupid, but never cowards. And call me atavistic, but courage is the chief virtue in my eyes, and the defining characteristic of alphas. because without courage one will never have the strength to pursue the virtues they hold sacred or the vices they most desire.

[TurquoiseSunset]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

^this.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Just a quick question for the fellas - do you think think a beta male can learn to become an alpha, or is it something innate?

[Darcy88]

Just a quick question for the fellas - do you think think a beta male can learn to become an alpha, or is it something innate?

A beta can become an alpha if he has the genes or the inner ability for it. Also, an alpha can be undermined and taken down to beta level by prolonged hostile circumstances. I go through periods of being alpha, and periods of being beta. Really people just irritate me and so I agree with what they say and I act below my level of competence and intelligence so as not to offend their egos. If I spoke my mind and said what was really on my mind I would be marked a nerd and be alienated from the herd. I either make myself the centre of attention or I hide in the background and say nothing. There is no middle way.

[LitNetIsGreat]

A beta can become an alpha if he has the genes or the inner ability for it. Also, an alpha can be undermined and taken down to beta level by prolonged hostile circumstances. I go through periods of being alpha, and periods of being beta. Really people just irritate me and so I agree with what they say and I act below my level of competence and intelligence so as not to offend their egos. If I spoke my mind and said what was really on my mind I would be marked a nerd and be alienated from the herd. I either make myself the centre of attention or I hide in the background and say nothing. There is no middle way.

Oh yes thanks that it interesting. I can relate to some of that.

[prendrelemick]

I'm NOT an Alpha male, but I used to pretend to be. I could imitate one for about 10 mins,
then I'd go and hide in the toilets to recoup!

My heart wasn't in it.

[Emil Miller]

Could this be what an Alpha male is like?

http://youtu.be/k4R5wZs8cxI

Or perhaps this?

http://youtu.be/-0MkIPGKdAk

[YesNo]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

[Darcy88]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

You seem somewhat alpha on here. You put your opinions forward with strength and defend them vigorously. I think what is being forgotten in this discussion is that alpha males can be as much brain as brawn. Sophistication is a sign of alpha male dominance.

Lord Henry in Picture of Dorian Grey was uber-alpha. He just owned people with his wit and sophistication.

Type A's only make each other unhappy in the long run, especially if they have destructive personalities. But a type A in my experience, is unable to fall in love with a type B. They are the girls who you think you like but as soon as you sleep with them you become unbearably repulsed by them and wish that they had never existed so that you would never have too look at them again. I think the starting point for love is always a perception of equality. At least for me it is, I am the type of guy who when he meet a girl who m akes me think "wow, she is not inferior me" that makes me start falling. By inferior I mean in beauty, in character and excitement for life. I have never cared for intelligence as it seems there are plenty of intelligent people and some are dull as drying dung and other are fascinating, so it seems better just to judge people as either dull or fascinating as that is more to the purpose. I am one of those people whom, will think any person stupid no matter their intelligence if I find them boring. Also bravery, that is the biggest turn on for me, and likewise cowardice is the biggest turn off. And Alpha's may be called reckless and stupid, but never cowards. And call me atavistic, but courage is the chief virtue in my eyes, and the defining characteristic of alphas. because without courage one will never have the strength to pursue the virtues they hold sacred or the vices they most desire.

This is all true. Type B's look intriguing from afar but when you get up close to them they fall short of your hopes. Equality is the principal prerequisite for fiery super-passionate love. I am so hung up on my feelings for one girl in particular precisely because she was my intellectual and physical and moral equal. And she had courage. It was a constant contest between who had more guts, more fire. We were like two wolves side-by-side pulling the sled of our relationship, each trying to out-pace the other. With a beta I am a wolf rubbing up against a sheep. The sheep is pretty and gentle but it cannot satisfy my wolfish predilection for struggle and dominance. Its too easy to dominate a type b. There is no challenge in loving a weak person. They are too easy to own. You own them and then all struggle is that of you taking on the world and other people. By being with a really strong person you have the benefit of having a competitor by your side at all times. We were like two olympians at sport or two gods at strife.

In Ovid there are stories where two gods come together and stories where a god hooks up with a mere mortal. The former are always more interesting. With an alpha I am Mars, she venus. With a beta I am mars and she is just some farm-girl. Better the storm and strife of a love more divine than the ease and predictability of a master-slave romance.

[cacian]

You seem somewhat alpha on here. You put your opinions forward with strength and defend them vigorously. I think what is being forgotten in this discussion is that alpha males can be as much brain and brawn. Sophistication is a sign of alpha male dominance.

Lord Henry in Picture of Dorian Grey was uber-alpha. He just owned people with his wit and sophistication.

Interesing about Lord Henry do you associate hedonist ideology and self fulfilement at all cost a trait of class and sophistication?

[Emil Miller]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

If Cagney was an Alpha male, this guy was a triple Alpha male.

http://youtu.be/eDF3lPt42WE