Love your description of winter, DM!
Love your description of winter, DM!
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.
Oh, wow... how did I miss this gem! This is definitely my favorite piece that I've read from you, Dark Muse. Almost every stanza and line is perfect; from the effortless rhymes and alliterations to the evocative descriptions and metaphors. My only criticism is with this pair of lines:
"you never quite know
if she is pretty or not quite so;"
I don't like the repetition of 'quite' and I think the 'so' is the only moment in the piece where the rhyme seems too strained. The only thing I could think of would really change the meaning, something like "You never quite knew / if she was good for you" (or some variation).
"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists
"I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers
Thank you!
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe
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