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Thread: four in the morning

  1. #1
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
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    four in the morning

    This is an old rap I wrote; I was wondering what you guys would make of it. (By the way, I missed you all on my little hiatus... It's good to be back haha)

    ***

    I was on the floor, it was four, my throat was raw, and I could barely talk, I had a sudden thought, I had to walk, get rolling, find my soul again, I dropped the phone I was holding, nobody told me the coldness would hit me like this, flashback to the last kiss, the one that went fastest, I was expecting to wake up in casket, roll it spark it and pass it, and stop asking these questions, I got a perspective like I was on mescaline, they were always testing, but I was always the best and I never rested, had consequences, constant tension, and blunt senses, observing the senseless life sentence, that I’m serving, my stomach’s turning and head is burning, I gotta go further, and I gotta run faster, a million miles away from my father, its only getting harder, there’s only drama, and screaming, so f*** it, I’m leaving, I’ll see ya…

  2. #2
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
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    This doesn't have the fluidity of your other work, but there is still something heartwrenching about this. You remind me of the rapper Cage. I hope that's not an insult to you, but it's more about the music instead of making beats to lyrics about how you hustle and throw money away on bentley coupes.


    bravo!
    love
    paper
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  3. #3
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I've got no experience with rap but I did get off on the rhymes and half rhymes, the sort of teasing, spontaneous ways they occurred or didn't occur.

  4. #4
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    I found it pulsating, hard and strong... with a fair amount of anxiety... going faster and faster... it caught me: breathless. Thanks for sharing!

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