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Thread: for katjusha

  1. #1
    they call me eqta MGK's Avatar
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    for katjusha

    e.g.

    meek pearls through blue gently drift
    to find me and you amongst them in their midst;
    the rising cacophony brings atremble your lips
    as i stagger by the thought of what i have missed.

    clad in a dress which your form suppress',
    fantasy astoke by that which i can but guess;
    a tantalizing prospect and most dire duress,
    combined in a form which makes my head a mess.

    Loneliness impersona discovered us there,
    before giants reduced under suns simple glare.
    but the sight of this, upon you was lost
    and so skirted was the line that i should have crossed

    dusk slowly crumbled in motion complete
    my heart was yours and the sand was our seat.
    you broke my fall, but just for a blink
    through deepest of depths my thoughts now sink

    so whisk, angel, fly now, be gone;
    to pastures far greener than mine you belong.
    take with you your scarab, that sweetener of dreams
    and hope that its voice drowns out bloodwhite sugar screams.

  2. #2
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
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    this is so elegant in a dark way i love it
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  3. #3
    Young author drakemortuare13's Avatar
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    The ending really portrays the heartache felt. This sounds something like high-society literature. Nicely done.

  4. #4
    they call me eqta MGK's Avatar
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    thank you for your comments!

    this was written during a very intense dickinson phase, hence the heavy diction

    however, do you think this poem is about a girl, or maybe something else?

  5. #5
    "Ars longa, vita brevis"
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    The meter is exceptionally held in this! I love it, a rhythm poem that captures my heart.

    i hate to guess at poet's original expressions, but im going to attempt it- the ocean?

  6. #6
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    A splendid wounded wild that you free...
    So much breath in this poem, measure and -- all said it: elegance. Thanks!

  7. #7
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    ... I mean - bird? ...

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