Why we do not commit suicides?

[Jozanny]

I am not sure quite how to post this without making the topic too heavy, but I have a fear about dying in a nursing home, like the poet Vassar Miller, who shares my disease but gained a greater recognition than I have yet.

http://www.stevenfordbrown.com/vassarmiller.htm

I know something about her last years, and I'm not sure how she had the strength to bear it, just as I am not sure how I'm going to avoid her fate. Since my late 30's it has been an increasing worry--stemming in part from the fact that my parents did institutionalize me, hoping orthopedic doctors would make me walk.

That didn't happen, but they did weaken me further, as is usually the case with physicians, unless you happen to be David Letterman.

I've told myself to wait a few years, try to achieve a few more writing goals, but by the time I hit 55, I'm going to be facing some hard choices.

It sounds just like an episode of ER, right?

[Sweets America]

Uhhhh... I looked at the ubercanuber epic long post and I found it amazing how someone can drone on about something that has such a simple answer.

Maybe the answer is simple for you, but please accept that others might have more things to say about the subject.

Maybe some people just search for another kind of happiness than the one(s) usually described by the human way of seeing the world.

[NikolaiI]

Virgil, you seem to have a balanced and healthy view

Blaze, try not to be so negative!

You say you try to undo youreslf to arrive at truth, and this is what has merit in your thread-post. It seems that what you are seeking could be termed spiritual maturity. You say undo yourself to arrive at truth, by spiritual maturity I mean something similar to this. Indeed spiritual maturity is something rare, in fact only the best of us attain it, but that is not a reason to despair into the negative or nihilistic tendencies you have grown accustomed to. While I was contemplating your answer, it kept me up way too late, since I was supposed to get up at 4! But I have the answer for you. Indeed this spiritual maturity is rare, but again; do not despair, for if you seek it, you will find it. It's a state of peace, a state of knowledge and spiritual joy, one which is not found in temporary means. It comes from deep within, and it can only be accessed when one is wholly surrendered to the Divine. If we create obstacles and negative vibrations, then we basically blind ourselves to anything genuinely spiritual. But if we are always immersed in spiritual vibrations, and good formations, then we will awaken spirituality. This spirituality or sense of ramana is what you are looking for. The key here is multifold: on one hand, it means that you see things as they are. This is possible, and if you say it is not possible, you are blocking yourself. It is also mindfulness, and readiness to act, for your ideals: it is not meditation or action alone, but action and meditation both. If you follow this you will come to a spiritual idea, one which breaks apart all karmic bonds. This is spiritual joy and bliss, it is the highest achievement possible, although presumably there is something beyond this. If you have attained this, my dear Blaze, then you will not be understood by anyone. Not in philosophical discussion and speculation. Yet in day to day activities it is nothing more than the right attitude, and being mindful. What you ought to are two things: The here and now, and also seeing things as they are. Good luck.

[Petronius]

We don't commit suicide because we're curious to see what happens next... Sometimes even suffering seems like a small price to pay, if it doesn't outright trigger some innate masochistic tendencies that would make it in itself a worthy field of exploration.

Curiosity doesn't allways kill the cat.