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  1. #1
    Wolf Revolte's Avatar
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    untitled

    These constant apologies are just disguises,
    a way to hide my apathy,
    not from them
    but from myself
    and somethings changed in ways I can't explain,
    where once in the crowd I could shout and sing
    but now,
    I just seem to watch myself.
    "We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller

  2. #2
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    Hi Revolte, I like this but would suggest:

    "These constant apologies are just disguises,
    a way to hide my apathy,
    not from them but from myself.
    And something's changed
    in ways I can't explain,
    where once, in the crowd,
    I could shout and sing
    I now just seem to watch myself."

    good one, chum. Best - H
    Last edited by Hawkman; 11-28-2010 at 09:05 AM.

  3. #3
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I like the changes Hawkman proposes. Without altering the spontaneity of this moment of self-confrontation, they firm it up structurally.

  4. #4
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    do you mean some things change in ways I can't explain or something has changed in ways I can't explain?
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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