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Thread: quartet

  1. #1
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    quartet

    alas
    the world has bravely set
    sail
    leaving a scale of tales that outweigh
    the wale
    blue lagoons swell
    against the winds that charm
    the hymns
    beyond the waves that
    beat the limbs
    it rolls and twists
    until it mists
    love happy it blings
    and wants to swing
    until it slings
    did not get the gist
    all that sings and does not string
    is not worth a thing.
    Last edited by cacian; 07-12-2019 at 06:35 PM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  2. #2
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    It's nice, Cacian. I like that you are varying the rhyme more now and using some internal rhyme. It's always fun to read one of your poems.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  3. #3
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    It's nice, Cacian. I like that you are varying the rhyme more now and using some internal rhyme. It's always fun to read one of your poems.
    Pompey so glad you liked this one. It is always a pleasure to read your comments.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  4. #4
    Registered User
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    "alas
    the world has bravely set
    sail"

    Very bold opening, I like it!

    "blue lagoons swell
    against the winds that charm"

    These lines provide some lovely imagery with sensory input

  5. #5
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowlight View Post
    "alas
    the world has bravely set
    sail"

    Very bold opening, I like it!

    "blue lagoons swell
    against the winds that charm"

    These lines provide some lovely imagery with sensory input
    Shadowlight many thanks for reading and comments.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

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