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Thread: Wildfire

  1. #1
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    Wildfire

    He placed years of waiting upon her cushioned breast,
    Light with trust he laid heavy burdens to rest.
    The tides of sleep smoothed the crags of his eyes and brow.
    Flooding upon them, a tidal peaceful vow,
    exchanged by silent caresses, between lovers.
    Breath exhaled softly from hollowed caverns deep,
    And whirled a draft upon her velvet flesh, a warming sweep.
    This trembling breath, this flowing seep,
    imbued that night a faithful fire.

    Soundless steps, clothed within the shadow of the night,
    Left the burning ember, still burning bright.
    That glowing heart, that cherished delight,
    untended, began to flourish and grow.
    A passioned fire though hotly burning, left her cold,
    consuming the vessel of which it could no longer hold.
    That voracious beast began to unfold
    scorching wounds to all that it touched.
    Leaving a rapacious lust that hungerly fed upon
    papery flesh, such as a moth to firelight is drawn,
    and with sparks that ignite upon its wings
    and ravages such delicate papery things
    curls to ash and flies away.

    Wildfire emblazed, with no control
    seized all in its path to pay the toll:
    Lone mountain oaks, brittle with drought.
    Twisted sprigs of life, dry-sucked sapling sprouts.
    Fields of thirsty, thorny, grasping weeds
    Bone-cracked lakebeds of wind-lashed bellowing reeds
    The nests of birds, the harbingers of spring
    fauna, meadows, flowers, and streams
    All lost
    the night he let her go
    and left a fire unattended to grow.
    Last edited by Shadowlight; 07-07-2019 at 01:51 PM.

  2. #2
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    This is a magnificent and really well made poem--better than anything I can do right now. There is one small issue--not important at all--which I will pm you about. I was interested, by the way, to see some similar imagery with my Thistle poem--the papery flesh, the wasted sprigs, the grasping weeds. Is this a matter of "great minds" thinking alike or did you were you influenced (as I hope) by my poem? I was also interested to see that the "nests of birds" (maybe children?) are among the things lost in your poem, but in mine (in the thistle poem anyway) they are part of the problem. Great minds apparently think differently, too.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  3. #3
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    All credit for inspiration goes to you Pompey. It was after I read your "Thistle or a Snakeskin Found" that I wrote this. Took me a week. Though, your writing is still more refined. Your rhythm is more mature in its subtly, it does not deter from the poem by giving attention to itself. It is so fluid the words flow along with it, its almost musical. You also allude to your message more sophistically too, allowing the reader to dig into your cryptic imagery to derive the meaning for themselves. I often give it all away in a few obvious lines. Regardless, I felt it was a step up, and am going to continue to try to write better.

    I honestly, didnt realize the similarities until you pointed them out now, lol! Though, it is undoubtable your poem is where they were derived from. My mind must have picked them up subconsciously. In my opinion, they are the best descriptive lines too, lol! Well, next one I'm going to have to try to be more original on the next one, which is getting harder I notice, since I am a glutton for natural themes. The bulk of my writing is embellishment of nature's beautiful creations or destructive forces.

    Your works really are moving. There are a few I want to give more commentary to, but I have little time to myself and often it can take me weeks to get on here with the attention it deserves, so I forego the quick posts until late at night when I can. I always get to though...eventually.

  4. #4
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    delete, duplicate.

  5. #5
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Thank you again, and please don't worry about when you comment. We're both old LitNetters and I know your posting pattern well enough. Your poem comes from a very different place than mine does, although they share some imagery. That's exactly as it should be since individuals bear their own witness and see by the light of their own torches. So let's learn from each other. I'll talk to you later.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

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