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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 274

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 274

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 424

    Oranges and Lemons
    Say the bells of St. Clement's?
    No they really don’t
    You are delusional

    ROSES ARE GREY

    Roses are grey,
    Violets are bleak
    I found out I was
    Colorblind last week

    TELETUBBIES NEWS # 2

    Breaking news, a Theme Park
    For the Teletubbies is planned
    But it only features one of them
    It’s going to be called Po Land

    ALTHOUGH MY WIFE AND I ARE AGING

    Although my wife and I are aging
    We still enjoy ourselves in bed
    It’s not a hot and sweaty pleasure
    Because now we read instead

    ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE

    If it really is true what they say
    That all the world is a stage,
    And all the men and women
    Are merely players on that stage?
    Where do all the audiences come from?
    To hear the words from the page

    MIDDLE AGED HOLIDAY

    I knew I had reached Middle age
    We I went on holiday to Valetta
    And among summer clothes
    In my suitcase was a sweater

    SOMETIMES MARKETING

    Sometimes marketing
    Really confuses me
    For example “a free gift”
    Aren't all gifts free?

    I WAS SUSPICIOUS WHEN HE SPOKE

    I was suspicious when he spoke
    As he sounded like a con man
    Because if Teflon is really non stick
    How does it stick to the pan?

    EUREKA, I’VE SEEN THE LIGHT

    Eureka, I’ve seen the light
    Why didn’t I see it before
    And all I had to do was
    To open the fridge door

    THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

    The English language
    Can be quite absurd
    i.e. why is abbreviation
    Such a long word?

    I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT

    I had a terrible nightmare last night
    Which really wasn’t very nice
    Which left me thinking, what happens
    If you get scared half to death twice?

    A THOUSAND MILE JOURNEY # 1

    A journey of a thousand miles
    Begins with a single step apparently
    Well that’s the philosophical view
    It begins with a broken fan belt in reality

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Another fine collection!

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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