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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 272

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 272

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 422

    Mary Mary quite contrary
    Why isnít that a surprise?
    Sheís contradicted me again
    And made me roll my eyes

    IíM A SCARECROW AND IT WAS SAID TO ME

    Iím a scarecrow and it was said to me
    That I was the best theyíd ever seen
    I have to say that I was very flattered
    At the compliment but hay, itís in my jeans

    SHELLFISH GENERALLY ARE INDUSTRIOUS CREATURES

    Shellfish generally are industrious creatures
    Which is why on the whole crustaceans prosper
    But some of their kind are lazy and sloth like
    One wonít lift a claw, and thatís the Slobster!

    ROSES ARE BEIGE, VIOLETS ARE BLACK

    Roses are beige, violets are black
    When do all the colours come back
    Oh my Iím such a confused bloke
    Am I colourblind or having a stroke

    MY SISTER WOULD ONLY WORK ON ONE ANIMAL

    My sister would only work on one animal
    So all the local farmers mocked her
    And upset her, but I soon cheered her up
    When I pointed out that she was a Doctor

    THE SNOWMAN WORE A SMILE

    The Snowman wore a smile
    And was quietly humming
    Because he knew that soon
    The snowblower was coming

    A LEXICON HAS A DRUG PROBLEM

    A Lexicon has a drug problem
    And is facing a disciplinary
    For persistently failing screening
    And he was declared addictionary

    MY UNCLE IS A PART TIME HITMAN

    My uncle is a part time hitman
    Who in accordance with his wifeís wishes
    Also works as a janitor at the aquarium
    Where he sweeps with the fishes

    IíVE FALLEN OUT WITH OUR LOLLIPOP LADY

    Iíve fallen out with our lollipop lady
    And our relationship has lost its gloss
    Everything would have been okay
    If not for the fact she made me cross

    COW CROSSING

    Why did the Cow cross the road?
    Well she risked her health and hide
    For a blatantly obvious reason
    As she wanted to get to the udder side

    NO ONE WOULD SIT NEXT TO THE MUSHROOM

    No one would sit next to the mushroom
    And he really didnít understand why
    It happened whatever the occasion
    And it confused him as he was a fungi

    THE DEFINITION OF A PLUMBER

    The definition of a Plumber
    Is quite easily comprehended
    Itís someone who has to repair
    The things that I have mended

  2. #2
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggus View Post
    MY UNCLE IS A PART TIME HITMAN

    My uncle is a part time hitman
    Who in accordance with his wifeís wishes
    Also works as a janitor at the aquarium
    Where he sweeps with the fishes

    COW CROSSING

    Why did the Cow cross the road?
    Well she risked her health and hide
    For a blatantly obvious reason
    As she wanted to get to the udder side
    Brilliant as always, Mr. Big.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

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    Really entertaining batch there. Love the Lexicon and Mushroom ones the best.

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