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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 271

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 271

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 421

    Mary had a little lamp
    Its beam was all aglow
    It led the way to the abattoir
    Where the sheep had to go

    IíM GOOD AT CHEMISTRY AND IíM FUNNY # 2

    Iím good at chemistry and Iím funny
    Those are the talents, I rely upon
    So when asked for a good Chemistry joke
    I replied that all the good ones Argon

    HARD SELL

    A salesman tried it on with my wife
    And tried really hard to impress her
    With talk of his Vegan noodles, but
    She wasnít fooled by the impasta

    WHEN YOUíRE A DICTATOR LIKE MADURO

    When youíre a dictator like Maduro
    Itís difficult to find time to shop
    But for his Palace building materials
    He always shops at the Home Despot

    MY DOG SWALLOWED

    My Dog swallowed some of my
    Scrabble tiles annoyingly
    Iím afraid when nature takes
    Its course it could spell tragedy

    IN THE SHED I OPENED A TIN

    In the shed I opened a tin
    Its contents were Red within
    But it smelt like blue paint
    So I resolved it was Red paint

    IíM A SCARECROW AND I WON FIRST PRIZE

    Iím a scarecrow and I won first prize
    When my victory was revealed
    By the judges at the county show
    They said I was outstanding in my field

    MY COMPUTER IS FREEZING

    My computer was always cold
    In fact I thought it was broken
    But our IT guy just told me
    It was coz I left Windows open

    ALPHABETICAL JEALOUSY

    There is definitely some jealousy among
    The letters of the alphabet it seems to me
    Iím thinking of two letters in particular
    Who work in unison and they are NV

    FRENCH FAVOURITE

    As a Nation, the French
    Like to eat Snails
    But as a fast food option
    The traditional dish fails

    PASSWORD PROTECTION

    I forgot my online banking password again
    So I know what needs to be done about that
    And I know the importance of security but I wonder
    Exactly how many times I can rename my cat?

    I BROKE MY GLASSES THE OTHER DAY

    I broke my glasses the other day
    So I knew what had to be done
    But guess who I bumped into
    While at the opticians? Everyone

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Witty as usual.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

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