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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 268

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 268

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 418

    Jack and Jill
    Went to the clinic
    Because they were
    Both quite unhygienic

    WHY DID THE CHICKEN NOT CROSS THE ROAD

    Why did the chicken not cross the road
    And choose instead to commit suicide?
    It seems to me to be the wrong approach
    If he just wanted to get to the other side

    I DON’T BELIEVE IN TRADITIONS

    I don’t believe in traditions
    I have no time for them
    And neither did my father
    Or his father before him

    LIVING ON MARTHA’S VINEYARD

    For many, life is quite hard
    Living on Martha’s Vineyard
    It’s very much, the have nots
    Outnumbering the have yacht’s

    BILLY NO MATES

    My wife has left me
    And taken the children
    All our friends
    Have abandoned me
    And taken her side
    Then when I put on
    The Television set
    The show that greets me
    Is the Lonely Planet

    THE AMAZON BASIN

    I was surprised to find
    My wife was interested
    In the Amazon Basin
    But it turned out to be a fad
    As she became disinterested
    When it arrived broken

    IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME TRIP

    It was a once in a life time trip
    That the site suggested you buy
    However the trip was to Dignitas
    But I suppose the advert didn’t lie

    ENTERTAINMENT THESE DAYS

    Entertainment these days t is nothing
    But sex and violence, it appears to me
    So is it really any surprise that I don’t
    Have the time to watch films or TV

    BUTTON MUSHROOMS

    Button mushrooms
    Are really not for us
    Because we prefer
    Humongous Fungus

    HE IS OF VERY NOBLE LINEAGE

    He is of very noble lineage
    Dating from the 11th century
    And is so posh he considers
    The Royal’s to be new money

    I OVERDOSED ON FOOD COLOURING

    I overdosed on food colouring
    I thought I could have died
    But the Doctor reassured me,
    Though I dyed a little inside

    I WROTE A SONG ABOUT A TORTILLA

    I wrote a song about a Tortilla
    And it was really crap
    But I should say in my defence
    It was more of a Wrap

  2. #2
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    Dang man, I love when you post these! "Once in a Lifetime Trip" my fav.

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