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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 267

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 267

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 417

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    As he was horny
    And she took the pill

    IT WAS FOGHORN LEGHORN’S BIRTHDAY

    It was Foghorn Leghorn’s birthday
    And he celebrated with his mates
    When they threw him a great party
    And served up his favourite coop-cakes

    I APPROACHED THE WOMAN IN THE BOOKSHOP

    I approached the woman in the bookshop
    “I want a book on Turtles” I told her
    And she responded “Hardback?"
    “Well obviously they’re hardback, duh”

    I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT OBE STANDS FOR

    I don’t know exactly what OBE stands for
    It’s one of those honours list pleasantries
    But it would seem that if you’ve got one
    You were a child molester in the Seventies

    I STILL FERVENTLY BELIEVE IN SAME SEX MARRIAGE

    I still fervently believe in same sex marriage
    Because there has been a disparity for gay people
    Which in the 21st century is totally unacceptable
    They deserve to be as miserable as straight people

    I DON’T THINK ANY OF US CAN JUDGE IMMATURITY

    I don’t think any of us can judge immaturity,
    It’s from parenthood some prejudices stem
    So no one should be prevented from having kids,
    But most shouldn’t be allowed to name them

    MY UNCLE IS A GREAT CAT LOVER

    My Uncle is a great cat lover
    And he’s always been a smashing bloke
    But after he came to visit, my cat
    Is recovering from a massive stroke

    I REALLY HATE MY JOB PASSIONATELY

    I really hate my job
    In fact I have to confess
    I hate it with a passion
    My boss says I don’t possess

    A MAN STOPPED ME IN THE STREET

    A man stopped me in the street
    Which alarmed me from the start
    Demanding I apply for a donor card
    He was a man after my own heart

    I GOT THE SACK

    I got the sack, to my sorrow
    But I still have to go in tomorrow
    All though I don’t want to enter
    I did work at the Job Center

    I'M RUBBISH WITH NAMES

    I'm rubbish with names
    I can’t help it a bit
    It’s a proper condition
    There's a name for it...

    PEOPLE WHO SELL MEAT ARE DISGUSTING

    People who sell meat are disgusting
    Even if it’s halal or kosher
    But then I’ve heard that people
    Who sell fruit and veg, are grocer

  2. #2
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    Those last five are such great fun. Thanks!

  3. #3
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    I liked all of them. Good laughs!

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