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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 267

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 267

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 417

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    As he was horny
    And she took the pill

    IT WAS FOGHORN LEGHORNíS BIRTHDAY

    It was Foghorn Leghornís birthday
    And he celebrated with his mates
    When they threw him a great party
    And served up his favourite coop-cakes

    I APPROACHED THE WOMAN IN THE BOOKSHOP

    I approached the woman in the bookshop
    ďI want a book on TurtlesĒ I told her
    And she responded ďHardback?"
    ďWell obviously theyíre hardback, duhĒ

    I DONíT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT OBE STANDS FOR

    I donít know exactly what OBE stands for
    Itís one of those honours list pleasantries
    But it would seem that if youíve got one
    You were a child molester in the Seventies

    I STILL FERVENTLY BELIEVE IN SAME SEX MARRIAGE

    I still fervently believe in same sex marriage
    Because there has been a disparity for gay people
    Which in the 21st century is totally unacceptable
    They deserve to be as miserable as straight people

    I DONíT THINK ANY OF US CAN JUDGE IMMATURITY

    I donít think any of us can judge immaturity,
    Itís from parenthood some prejudices stem
    So no one should be prevented from having kids,
    But most shouldnít be allowed to name them

    MY UNCLE IS A GREAT CAT LOVER

    My Uncle is a great cat lover
    And heís always been a smashing bloke
    But after he came to visit, my cat
    Is recovering from a massive stroke

    I REALLY HATE MY JOB PASSIONATELY

    I really hate my job
    In fact I have to confess
    I hate it with a passion
    My boss says I donít possess

    A MAN STOPPED ME IN THE STREET

    A man stopped me in the street
    Which alarmed me from the start
    Demanding I apply for a donor card
    He was a man after my own heart

    I GOT THE SACK

    I got the sack, to my sorrow
    But I still have to go in tomorrow
    All though I donít want to enter
    I did work at the Job Center

    I'M RUBBISH WITH NAMES

    I'm rubbish with names
    I canít help it a bit
    Itís a proper condition
    There's a name for it...

    PEOPLE WHO SELL MEAT ARE DISGUSTING

    People who sell meat are disgusting
    Even if itís halal or kosher
    But then Iíve heard that people
    Who sell fruit and veg, are grocer

  2. #2
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    Those last five are such great fun. Thanks!

  3. #3
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    I liked all of them. Good laughs!

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