21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 416
Jack and Jill
Went up the hillock
He proposed then she
Called him a pillock
WOMEN WILL DRESS UP TO GO SHOPPING
Women will dress up to go shopping
And for doing chores and errands too
Whereas Men will dress up for Weddings
And funerals, but only if they have to
DAREDEVILISH # 3
Some activities in life
Since time began
Build your self-esteem
Like no others can
One such activity
Of which I’m a fan
Is sharpening pencils with a knife
As it makes me feel like a man
ADVERSITY MAKES FOR STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
Adversity makes for strange bedfellows
Is how they put it proverbially
But in my house estranged bedfellows
Makes for a good deal of adversity
BETTER TO REMAIN SILENT AND BE THOUGHT A FOOL
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool
Than to speak and remove any and all doubt
I wish I had heard that proverb before I spoke
Keeping quiet would have been a very good shout
ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES
Anyone who actually believes
That cheats never prosper
Have never seen defenders
Preparing to defend a corner
AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE TARDIS
An argument about the Tardis
Kicked off and wouldn’t quit
It started small, but got bigger
Once they properly got into it
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MY NEIGHBOUR
I cannot believe that my
Next door neighbour
Is a self-harmer
She's so vile there
Must be queue of people
Willing to do it for her
MY GIRLFRIEND WAS STRIKING IN APPEARANCE
My girlfriend was striking in appearance
With a face like a rare Chinese thing
Like a classic vase from a great dynasty
Was it Yuan, Liao, no it was Ming-ing
MY LAST GIRLFRIEND TREATED ME
My last girlfriend treated me
Like a piece of meat
That’s because she was a Vegan
And refused to touch me
MY WIFE WAS INVITED TO GO
My wife was invited to go
On a girls' night out recently
The invite said “dress to kill”
So she went as Myra Hindley
WE ALL HAVE A SKELETON
Let’s be honest we all have
A skeleton in the cupboard, or two
But some people let theirs
Walk the catwalk for the public to view