Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 263

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,182
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 263

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 413

    Doctor Foster
    Went to Gloucester
    But the police followed
    As he was an imposter

    PUT DOWN # 65

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    If he says “hey a thought just crossed my mind”
    Give him a measured look and say
    “So, a thought crossed your mind?
    Well it must have been a long and lonely journey”.

    I HEARD ON THE GRAPEVINE THAT CADBURY

    I heard on the grapevine that Cadbury
    Are moving production to China
    Which will involve some rebranding
    For example the Chinese Wispa

    I USED TO WORK IN A PLANT

    I used to work in a plant
    Specialising in shoe-recycling
    And I hated every minute
    It was utterly sole-destroying

    THERE ARE MANY PIT FALLS

    There are many pit falls
    In the relationships game
    Take same-sex marriage
    Where sex is always the same

    I HAVE AN UNUSUAL PHOBIA

    I have an unusual phobia
    Which people find strange
    I hate new minted coins
    But then I dislike all change

    DID YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY

    Did you know the reason why
    Unattached women go to Wimbledon
    It’s because they were told
    There was a men's singles event on

    I GET TOGETHER WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

    I get together with my girlfriend
    For someone to one time
    Which is why I usually meet
    Up with her at 12:59

    I WAS INVITED TO A PRETENDERS GIG

    I was invited to a Pretenders gig
    And wasn’t sure how to react
    I really like live music performance
    But didn’t want to see a tribute act

    I WAS DRINKING IN A BAR WHEN

    I was drinking in a bar when
    A Smurf walked into view
    And the smiling bartender
    Said 'hey man why so blue?'

    MY WIFE WANTED TO GO AND SEE THE CURE

    My wife wanted to go and see the Cure
    And was surprised at my apprehension
    Wondering why I didn’t want to see the Cure
    I said I’d rather see the Prevention

    BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

    Being an England supporter
    At a World Cup or Euro’s melee
    Is likened to over-optimistic parents
    Of the fat kid on sports day

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Prairies, Canada
    Posts
    9,656
    Blog Entries
    188
    Ha ha! Loved the Smurf one particularly!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 152
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-25-2015, 04:41 AM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 131
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-13-2015, 04:34 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 130
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-09-2015, 05:08 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 129
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-05-2015, 04:47 AM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 128
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-01-2015, 07:23 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •