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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 261

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 261

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 411

    Tuesday’s child
    Is full of grace
    Except when she’s
    Totally off her face

    PUT DOWN # 63

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
    Let him buy you a drink at the bar
    Then speak “Let me just say that if bull****
    Was music, you'd be a full orchestra”

    LUCY LLAMA WAS HAPPILY SURPRISED

    Lucy Llama was happily surprised
    With a weekend break by her stag
    So she rewarded him with a kiss
    And in a fluster said Alpaca bag

    POPULAR CULTURE IS VERY INFLUENTIAL

    Popular culture is very influential
    And I think it’s brilliant, in my view
    How the Chinese made a language
    Entirely out of pretentious tattoos

    POETRY IS REMARKABLE

    Poetry is remarkable for
    The amount of joy it brings
    But please poets, we do get it,
    Things are like other things

    ON THE WICKET AT LORDS

    On the wicket at Lords
    Is there any finer sight
    Than the sun shining
    On a bowler in full flight

    SHARING BURDENS

    She said “When we get married,
    I want to share all your worries,
    Troubles and lighten your burden”
    “But I don’t have any burden”
    He pointed out “or worries, pet”
    She said “no, but we aren't married yet”

    WE DIDN’T REALISE THAT MY DAD

    We didn’t realise that my Dad
    Was one of the great family men
    Until that day we discovered
    That he actually had three of them

    DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN?

    I grew a beard, thinking it would say
    "Distinguished Gentleman" to all
    Instead, what it’s actually saying
    Is Senior Discount seeker at the Mall

    I GOT MY FATHER’S LOOKS

    I got all my looks from my father
    Much to my detriment
    I’m thinking in particular of
    The look of disappointment

    WHEN YOU LOOK AT A HIPPO

    When you look at a Hippo
    It obviously differs from a Zippo
    As one is a really heavy blighter,
    And the other is a little lighter

    WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE DIDN’T GO

    When we were kids, we didn’t go
    Sledging and tobogganing
    Going down the hill on a tin tray
    Was more our kind of thing

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Nice collection Biggus !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

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