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Thread: Christmas 2018 # 9

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2018 # 9

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 35

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the place
    Not a creature was stirring
    With not a sound nor a trace
    The whole family were next door
    Where to their utter disgrace
    With the neighbours away
    They were robbing the place

    REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 26TH OF DECEMBER

    Remember, Remember the 26th of December
    The feast of Stephen is the day
    Celebrated in a very special way
    In the UK it’s known as Boxing Day

    MY WIFE WAS IN THE KITCHEN

    My wife was in the kitchen
    And I went in to take a look
    While she cooked the goose
    Just before I goosed the cook

    THE MEASURE OF AGE USED TO BE

    The measure of age used to be
    When Policemen looked younger
    Now I know I’m getting old
    When Santa starts looking younger

    OTT NATIVITY

    I’ve always been of the opinion
    That the Christmas nativity
    Was a baby shower that became
    A bit of an over the top festivity

    CHRISTMAS IS A DEEPLY RELIGIOUS TIME

    Christmas is a deeply religious time
    That one and all think shouldn’t be missed
    And observe it in his or her own way,
    Thought normally by getting totally pissed

    RUSH AND SCURRY

    Hurry, hurry shopping in Surrey
    Hurry, hurry, rush and scurry
    Worry, worry, fresh snow flurry
    Hurry Murray rush and scurry
    Let’s get home and have a curry

    AT THE ANNUAL CHRISTMAS BINGE

    Well at the end of the year
    Its managements” biggest fear
    That staff should infringe
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    After spiking the fruit punch
    In the canteen after lunch
    Their totally off their hinge
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    The amount of alcohol downed
    As many a sorrow was drowned
    Made the accountant whinge
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    The extent of the reveling
    Was quite frankly bedeviling
    Enough for his beard to singe
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    The things that a little party ho
    Did beneath the mistletoe
    Would make a puritan cringe
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    Karen from reception bless her
    Botox-ed her face with vodka
    With a catering syringe
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    The level of fraternization
    Was quite a revelation
    And caused a few backs to twinge
    At the annual Christmas Binge

    You may well be forgiven
    After the events which had arisen
    That it was the lunatic fringe
    At their annual Christmas Binge

    Next day when the party was over
    Everyone suffered from a hangover
    And all took on an earthy tinge
    The day after the Christmas binge

    AFTER THREE WEEKS OR SO

    After three weeks or so
    Working in the grotto
    It begins to take its toll
    On the poor old soul
    Sitting on his great chair
    Pretending to care
    As all the girls and boys
    Plead for various toys
    Kids of every shape and size
    Looking for a prize
    Clambering on his knee
    Wriggling with glee
    Until the poor old chap
    Suffers from Santa lap

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 36

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all along the street
    The faithful walked to Church
    Where they would meet
    To celebrate the Mass and wait
    For Christmas Day to greet

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    My favorite here was "Rush and Scurry".
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    A User, but Registered! tonywalt's Avatar
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    loved a measure of age!

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