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Thread: Christmas 2018 # 6

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2018 # 6

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 29

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the Lodge
    Not a creature was stirring
    Especially not Rodge
    And everyone was grateful
    As he was the bullet to dodge
    Which is why they didnít say
    They were off to the Lodge

    MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN

    The snow has come its falling fast
    Itís time to dance about and cheer
    Soon it will be time to build a snowman
    I build the same one every year

    When the snow is lying deep and fresh
    I go to the cupboard in my room
    Where I get his hat, gloves and scarf
    And of course his Birchwood broom

    Mum says ďdonít you stay out longĒ
    But she knows that I donít listen
    She knows that it takes some time
    To build the perfect Mr Glisten

    I always start in the same place
    And make the body large and round
    For his head I roll a smaller ball
    Rolling it on the snowy ground

    Soon he stands up taller than me
    Rising up from the fallen snow
    Each year it takes a little longer
    As like me each year he grows

    Down his front go pebble buttons
    From his neck down to the floor
    His stick arms wear his gloves
    Which donít really fit him anymore

    Then I put on his scarf and hat
    His birch broom stands by his side
    Marbles to make his eyes shine
    And a stick mouth smiling wide

    Last the carrot nose goes in place
    And I step back and a moment spend
    Gazing at the happy snowman face
    Then I say ďHello my old friendĒ

    IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8

    Is Santa Claus really a woman?
    Well thereís no evidence yet
    But ask yourself if a man
    Would choose to wear red velvet

    WHEN RUDOLPH ARRIVED

    When Rudolph arrived
    Cupid was so pleased
    It meant the other reindeer
    Had someone new to tease

    ON CHRISTMAS EVE, A NUTCRACKER

    On Christmas Eve, a nutcracker
    Is turned into a handsome Prince,
    Clara saves him from the Mouse King
    And go to the land of sweets and mints
    There they dance around for a bit
    Before the Prince takes Clara as his belle
    And they marry and thatís The End
    And that is the nutcracker in a nutshell

    GROTTOS GO LEGAL

    Santaís little helpers, the first contacts,
    Have all been given revised contracts
    They will be known by the Santa Clausís
    From this year on as subordinate clauses

    NORTHERN LIGHTS

    We have just learned
    Candles may not be burned
    In Santaís workshop
    The practice has to stop
    A spokesman claims
    That elfin safety is to blame

    DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?

    What would you call a man?
    With a big belly and no dress sense
    Who never replies to your letters
    A man thatís too lazy to shave
    And is obsessed with stockings,
    Who can only be relied upon for one day a year
    Will never stop to ask for directions
    A man who only owns one suit
    Never gets you the present you asked for
    And needs to be rewarded with food and drink
    Oh and always leaves the dirty dishes
    Well what do you think? Could be any man alive eh?
    So what would you call this man?
    I would call him Santa

    CHRISTMAS GOOSE

    At Christmas time
    I do like a goose
    It is my one weakness
    And I offer no excuse

    Though it does depend
    Of course on the bird
    To say any different
    Would be quite absurd

    The quality of goose
    That you are executing
    Is directly related
    To the bird you are goosing

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 30

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the Mansion
    Not a creature was stirring
    Amidst all the family tension
    As they were all in their rooms
    Doing self-medication

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha, these are all very clever!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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