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Thread: Christmas 2018 # 5

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2018 # 5

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 27

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the Hall
    Not a creature was stirring
    After the Christmas Eve Ball
    Except the servants of course
    Who didnít sleep at all

    IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 7

    Is Santa Claus really a woman?
    Well surely its self-evident
    It takes a great deal of effort
    To achieve the necessary merriment
    And no man is capable
    Of that level of commitment

    PERSISTENT AND DISRUPTIVE WINDS

    Persistent and disruptive winds,
    There seems to be no doubts,
    Are predicted after Christmas
    And it will probably be the Sprouts

    CHRISTMAS SPOILERS

    The Christmas spoilers
    Will soon be with us again
    And that as you well know
    Means the bloody children

    THE QUEENĒS SPEECH

    The Queen it would appear
    Gets a TV special every year
    But one of my many queries
    Is why does she never get a series?

    MINCE PIES FULL

    Mince pies full
    Of spice and season
    I donít eat them
    Heartburnís the Reason

    THE BEST FORM OF EXERCISE

    The best form of exercise
    Is sex! Well thatís what they say
    But five minutes at Christmas
    Wonít take my beer gut away

    I BUILT THE PERFECT SNOWMAN

    I built the perfect snowman
    Well a snow-woman actually
    She was a little disproportionate
    But she was perfect to me
    She was a little cold
    But we couldíve been happy

    I wrapped her in a blanked
    And took her to my bed
    In the morning I was hoping,
    Though nothing was said
    That we would make love
    But I woke alone instead
    And to make matters worst
    One of us had wet the bed

    PANTER CLAUS

    Weíll have a quiet night in
    So let the festivities begin
    I think it really is a thriller
    To have you as a stocking filler
    Do you think it shocking?
    To want you in my stocking
    But Iíll fill you with joy
    If youíll be my sex toy
    I can be your secret Santa
    You can be my sultry panter
    A bit of festive rough and tumble
    Ok then just a quick fumble
    I thought youíd be up for a goose
    They all said you were loose
    Then youíre not a sure thing?
    And you donít swing?
    No please donít go home yet
    Iím the best offer youíll get
    Sod it another quiet night in
    Let the celibacies begin

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 28

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the Tower
    Not a creature was stirring
    As they neared the midnight hour
    And the reason for that was
    A black out so they had no power

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    LoL!
    Liked the Perfect Snowman and the Mince Pies the best!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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