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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 254

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 254

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 404

    Four and twenty blackbirds
    Baked in a crumble
    Would that make Greggs
    Customers grumble?

    CAMEL HAIR BRUSHES

    Camel hair brushes are not
    Made from camel hair to be fair
    Itís just one of lifeís oddities
    They are made of Squirrel fur

    MARITAL FORTUNES

    ďWould you have married me if
    My father hadn't left me a fortune?Ē
    A newly married man asked his wife,
    While they were on honeymoon
    She replied sweetly ďI'd have married you,
    No matter who left you a fortune!Ē

    GOLF IS LIKE MARRIAGE

    Golf is like marriage, firstly
    Both are very costly
    And they won't work if you take
    Yourself too seriously

    IT'S TRUE THAT LIFE BEGINS AT FIFTY

    It's true that life begins at fifty
    Of that I donít think thereís a doubt
    But it's then that everything else starts
    To wear out, fall out, or spread out

    READ ALL OUR CRITIQUES

    Read all our critiques
    On Hallucinagenics
    Itís what weíre here for
    At Trip advisor

    HOMEMADE PIZZA

    Homemade pizza
    Is absolute bliss
    And itís so easy
    Itís a pizza piss

    I DONíT KNOW MUCH ABOUT RUSSIA

    I donít know much about Russia
    And I havenít been there yet
    But I do know one thing for sure
    You mustnít get the Kremlin wet

    NOCTURNAL PLIGHT

    I learned a valuable life lesson
    And Iím not eager to repeat my plight
    When I foolishly took a sleeping pill
    And a laxative on the same night

    BEING OVER THE HILL

    Iíve always accepted the inevitability
    Of one day being over the hill
    What I didnít expect was to pick up speed
    On the other side of that hill

    ENERGIZING

    If it wasnít for the stress
    Which is a feature of my distress
    And the resulting nervous energy
    I wouldnít have any energy

    THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY

    They made a clean getaway
    To a remote destination
    For peace and quiet
    And dirty intentions

    A MUSCIAN WANTED A HOLIDAY BY THE SEA

    A musician wanted a holiday by the sea
    Under blue skies with an ocean breeze
    And as she was a pianist she knew exactly
    Where she wanted to go, the Florida Keys

    IíM A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER

    Iím a very courageous Golfer,
    At least in my view
    Because it takes a lot of balls
    To Golf the way, I do

    THEREíS A GREAT VOLUME IíM READING

    Thereís a great volume Iím reading
    About Japanese Sword-Fighting,
    Itís quite a detailed manuscript
    Would you like me to samuraise it?

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha! Witty and fun as always!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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