I DIDN’T KNOW IT MEANT EXIT
I didn’t know it meant exit
When I voted for Brexit
To be honest I voted leave
Just because I like leaves
THE TECHNOLOGY AVAILABLE IS FANTASTIC # 2
The technology available is fantastic
But it has affected me detrimentally
As I realized I’ve not played solitaire
With a real deck of cards this century
CAT GUTTED
As to which animal cat gut comes from
I have been lied to and seriously misled
It appears it doesn’t come from cats
But from Sheep and Horses instead
ANNIVERSARY PLAN
“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
A husband asked his wife as it was that time again
“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.
So with a smile he suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
GOLF IS A HARD GAME TO FATHOM.
Golf is a hard game to fathom.
One day you will play,
And slice it and shank it,
Hit every trap along the way
And miss every green,
But then on the next day
You go out and for no reason
At all, you really can’t play
A LITTLE GIRL’S WARNING
A little girl watched her dad dress for a party.
And then she gave her dad a warning
“Daddy, you shouldn't wear that dinner suit”
He asked, “why not?” his curiosity dawning
“Because you know that it always gives
You a bad headache the next morning”
ARE YOU WEARING A SQUINT?
Are you wearing a squint?
That’ll be because of the fine print.
I wouldn’t bother reading every bit
There's no way you're going to like it
MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I'M A STALKER
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker
She’s thought it ever since we met
Well I say girlfriend, I should explain
That, she's not my girlfriend, yet
I ASKED C.S. LEWIS
I asked C.S. Lewis what he kept
In his wardrobe,
Beyond suit and dress
And with a wry smile
And a twinkle in his eye
He replied, Narnia business
MY SISTER IS INTO PHOTOGRAPHY
My sister is into photography
It makes her shine and glow
And she talks enthusiastically
But you can’t shutter up though
COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN A WOMAN?
Could Jesus have been a woman?
Well, He fed a crowd as far as he could view
at a moment's notice with little food
He kept trying to get a message across To
A bunch of men who just didn't grasp it.
So, it’s very possible in my view
And then even when He was dead, He had
To get up because there was still work left to do
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