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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 251

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 251

    I RESISTED GETTING A MOBILE PHONE

    I resisted getting a mobile phone for a long time
    But I gave in and was told I’d never regret it
    Now if I leave home without the thing, I panic
    And I have to turn around to go back and get it

    THE BLACK BOX FLIGHT RECORDER

    The Black Box flight recorder
    Is not black! We have been misled
    Why would you call it a “black box”
    And then make it orange instead

    MARITAL SURFING

    A wife sat down on the couch
    Next to her husband
    As he was flipping channels
    With the remote in hand
    She asked, “What's on TV?”
    He replied “Dust mainly”

    A GIMME

    “Gimme” is a famous Golfing term
    Best described as an agreement
    Between two like-minded Golfers,
    Whose putting is to their detriment

    BE MY VALENTINES # 6

    On Valentine’s Day
    The valentine card said to the stamp
    Stick with me and we'll go places!
    While the farmer gave his wife
    Hogs and kisses!
    And the caveman gave his wife
    Ughs and kisses!
    And the Persian gave his wife
    Rugs and kisses!

    COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN IRISH?

    Could Jesus have been Irish?
    Well the bible says He never marries
    He loved green pastures and water
    And He was always telling stories

    PORN STAR TIPPLE

    I worked in a cocktail bar where
    A porn star was a regular imbiber
    And erotic film star Bambi’s favourite
    Drink Was 7 Up in cider

    MY WIFE AND I ARE BOTH

    My wife and I are both
    In our late 50s for sure
    I’m fast approaching 59
    And she’s just turned 64

    I WAS SCARRED DURING MY FIRST TIME

    I was scarred during my first time
    And made me think I was still a virgin
    I thought I was doing fine until she said
    Those three dreaded words, “Is it in?”

    THERE WAS A FIGHT AT THE CIRCUS

    There was a fight at the circus
    Between a clown and a mugger
    The fight didn’t last for long
    Once they went for the juggler

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Loved that last one in particular, Biggus! ha ha ha
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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