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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 246

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 246

    TODAY I PULLED UP ON THE DRIVEWAY

    Today I pulled up on the driveway
    And within minutes of stopping
    I phoned to see if anyone was home
    To help me carry in the shopping

    PANAMA HATS

    Regarding which country makes
    Panama hats, I was seriously misled
    It turns out they’re not Panamanian
    And are made in Ecuador instead

    MARITAL EXPECTATION

    My wife kept hinting about the gift
    She wanted for our anniversary
    She said, “I want something shiny
    That goes from 0 to 150
    In about 3 seconds will do me”
    And this was repeated in detail
    As the anniversary neared
    So, he bought her a bathroom scale

    FIRST GRADE CADDY

    His five-year-old nephew wanted
    To caddy for him on his Golf round
    “You have to count my strokes,
    So, your counting has to be sound”
    The Uncle explained, then asked
    “How much is six, plus nine?”
    “Five,” answered the nephew.
    The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”

    BE MY VALENTINES # 1

    On Valentine’s Day
    The valentine card said to the stamp
    Stick with me and we'll go places!
    While the farmer gave his wife
    Hogs and kisses!
    And the caveman gave his wife
    Ughs and kisses!

    COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN BLACK?

    Could Jesus have been Black?
    Maybe, its true he liked Gospel
    He called everyone brother
    And He didn't get a fair trial

    PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 4

    Practise what you preach
    Isn’t that what they teach?
    But preach what you’ve practised
    Is the advice of a Semanticist

    WE WILL GO TO SWITZERLAND

    We will go to Switzerland
    With our Dog from Alsace
    When the time comes, and
    Go to the clinic, Dognitas

    GUTTERBALL

    It is inevitable I suppose
    Even though they deserve better
    That old bowling balls
    Will end up in the gutter

    GALLIC SANDALS

    A Frenchman, wearing sandals,
    Was in a bit of a gallic strop
    After teasing about his footwear
    His name was Phillipe Phillop

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Oh, I DID love that last one!
    Had me laffing, you did!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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