Newly discovered Jane Austen fragment

[Ecurb]

Scholars have unearthed a fragment of what appears to be a sequel to "Sense and Sensibility". The handwriting and spelling (which has been standardized here) is consistent with the theory that Jane Austen is the original author:

“No, I’d better not go outside today,” said Colonel Brandon, buttoning up his flannel waistcoat. “It’s under 50 degrees (farenheit) and I might catch a chill. Maybe I’ll just ring up Searle*(who I’ve hired away from my soul mate, Mr. Woodhouse) and get him to soft-boil an egg for me.”

Just then, Marianne walked into the room. “I’m going for a long walk,” she announced, eager to get out of the house and away from her fuddy-duddy, wet blanket husband.

“Oh, my dear!” said Brandon. “Do be careful! If you must go out, make sure you wear a dozen or two layers of flannel, or you will be certain to have twinges of rheumatism!”

“I never have twinges of rheumatism, mainly because I’m only 22 years old,” replied Mrs. Brandon. Her husband was only 40, but he already acted like a man of twice those years. Marianne remembered in horror how she and Willoughby had completely figured out the good Colonel, but how, in her heartbreak, she had married the Colonel anyway in a lapse of judgment she had come to rue.

“I wonder what Willoughby is up to,” thought Marianne, who had slept alone for some months now, while her husband used hot mustard plasters on his aching feet. Little did Mrs. Brandon know that her path was about to cross Willoughby’s once more……

[cacian]

''fuddy-duddy, wet blanket husband.''

what?!

[Pompey Bum]

Fuddy-duddy and wet blanket are slang terms for someone who never wants to have any fun or go out or take small, exciting risks.

[cacian]

Fuddy-duddy and wet blanket are slang terms for someone who never wants to have any fun or go out or take small, exciting risks.

It is not lady like coming from J Austen. I guess the colonel just have to take it on the chin.

[Pompey Bum]

Well, perhaps she's being a little ironic.

[cacian]

Well, perhaps she's being a little ironic.

Ironic. how?
This whole piece is about cheating but not physically obviously.

[Pompey Bum]

I just meant she sometimes affects judgments that are a little stronger than she may intend. Reading the fragment more closely, I think you are probably correct. But it's hard to tell Austin's long term intent from such a tiny piece of the story.

[Ecurb]

I thought everyone would know that I invented the fragment. I never liked Colonel Brandon, and admire the unrepentant and romantic version of Marianne. So I suspect that this version might be all too likely, although, of course, neither we nor Jane Austen herself will ever know. Also, I like tweaking those Austen fans who are in love with Colonel Brandon (for a reason God alone knows!). It's my own joke, and Austen is absolved from ever writing such slang as "fuddy-duddy".

[Pompey Bum]

You got me, Ecurb! Fuddy-duddy indeed!

[Danik 2016]

I thought everyone would know that I invented the fragment. I never liked Colonel Brandon, and admire the unrepentant and romantic version of Marianne. So I suspect that this version might be all too likely, although, of course, neither we nor Jane Austen herself will ever know. Also, I like tweaking those Austen fans who are in love with Colonel Brandon (for a reason God alone knows!). It's my own joke, and Austen is absolved from ever writing such slang as "fuddy-duddy".

I was somewhat suspicious, Ecurb! Not of you inventing the piece yourself but of someone else inventing it.The piece imitated Austen`s style but without Austen´s ethics. And "fuddy-duddy" is really to much!
I just wonder what Jackson Richardson would say about this historical fragment if he still followed LitNet.

[Pompey Bum]

I just wonder what Jackson Richardson would say about this historical fragment if he still followed LitNet.

I was thinking the same thing, Danik. He would have smelled it out.

[Ecurb]

I thought posting it on the "General Writing" board would make it clear that I made it up. The intro was meant to merely add a little romance to the piece. I really wasn't trying to fool anyone. In any event, I had fun writing it.

By the way, Jackson knows that I (in his words) "fancy" Marianne, and disapprove of Brandon, from other discussions we've had. So I'm sure he would have known that I wrote the piece.

[Danik 2016]

Well, I think everybody was amused. By the way, a Brazilian soap opera author also newly discovered Jane Austen. He used several of her novels and set the story in a fictitious coffee valley in early 20 C Brazil. Here is a scene with Coronel Brandão and Mariana. Mariana is dressed as a man (Mario), because women weren´t allowed to participate of motorcycle contests at that time.
https://globoplay.globo.com/v/6888744/