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Thread: Newly discovered Jane Austen fragment

  1. #1
    Ecurb Ecurb's Avatar
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    Newly discovered Jane Austen fragment

    Scholars have unearthed a fragment of what appears to be a sequel to "Sense and Sensibility". The handwriting and spelling (which has been standardized here) is consistent with the theory that Jane Austen is the original author:

    “No, I’d better not go outside today,” said Colonel Brandon, buttoning up his flannel waistcoat. “It’s under 50 degrees (farenheit) and I might catch a chill. Maybe I’ll just ring up Searle*(who I’ve hired away from my soul mate, Mr. Woodhouse) and get him to soft-boil an egg for me.”

    Just then, Marianne walked into the room. “I’m going for a long walk,” she announced, eager to get out of the house and away from her fuddy-duddy, wet blanket husband.

    “Oh, my dear!” said Brandon. “Do be careful! If you must go out, make sure you wear a dozen or two layers of flannel, or you will be certain to have twinges of rheumatism!”

    “I never have twinges of rheumatism, mainly because I’m only 22 years old,” replied Mrs. Brandon. Her husband was only 40, but he already acted like a man of twice those years. Marianne remembered in horror how she and Willoughby had completely figured out the good Colonel, but how, in her heartbreak, she had married the Colonel anyway in a lapse of judgment she had come to rue.

    “I wonder what Willoughby is up to,” thought Marianne, who had slept alone for some months now, while her husband used hot mustard plasters on his aching feet. Little did Mrs. Brandon know that her path was about to cross Willoughby’s once more……

  2. #2
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    ''fuddy-duddy, wet blanket husband.''

    what?!
    Last edited by cacian; 08-15-2018 at 06:49 AM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  3. #3
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Fuddy-duddy and wet blanket are slang terms for someone who never wants to have any fun or go out or take small, exciting risks.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  4. #4
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Fuddy-duddy and wet blanket are slang terms for someone who never wants to have any fun or go out or take small, exciting risks.
    It is not lady like coming from J Austen. I guess the colonel just have to take it on the chin.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  5. #5
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Well, perhaps she's being a little ironic.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  6. #6
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Well, perhaps she's being a little ironic.
    Ironic. how?
    This whole piece is about cheating but not physically obviously.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  7. #7
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    I just meant she sometimes affects judgments that are a little stronger than she may intend. Reading the fragment more closely, I think you are probably correct. But it's hard to tell Austin's long term intent from such a tiny piece of the story.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

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    Ecurb Ecurb's Avatar
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    I thought everyone would know that I invented the fragment. I never liked Colonel Brandon, and admire the unrepentant and romantic version of Marianne. So I suspect that this version might be all too likely, although, of course, neither we nor Jane Austen herself will ever know. Also, I like tweaking those Austen fans who are in love with Colonel Brandon (for a reason God alone knows!). It's my own joke, and Austen is absolved from ever writing such slang as "fuddy-duddy".
    Last edited by Ecurb; 08-15-2018 at 05:33 PM.

  9. #9
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    You got me, Ecurb! Fuddy-duddy indeed!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  10. #10
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ecurb View Post
    I thought everyone would know that I invented the fragment. I never liked Colonel Brandon, and admire the unrepentant and romantic version of Marianne. So I suspect that this version might be all too likely, although, of course, neither we nor Jane Austen herself will ever know. Also, I like tweaking those Austen fans who are in love with Colonel Brandon (for a reason God alone knows!). It's my own joke, and Austen is absolved from ever writing such slang as "fuddy-duddy".
    I was somewhat suspicious, Ecurb! Not of you inventing the piece yourself but of someone else inventing it.The piece imitated Austen`s style but without Austen´s ethics. And "fuddy-duddy" is really to much!
    I just wonder what Jackson Richardson would say about this historical fragment if he still followed LitNet.
    "You can always find something better than death."
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  11. #11
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danik 2016 View Post
    I just wonder what Jackson Richardson would say about this historical fragment if he still followed LitNet.
    I was thinking the same thing, Danik. He would have smelled it out.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  12. #12
    Ecurb Ecurb's Avatar
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    I thought posting it on the "General Writing" board would make it clear that I made it up. The intro was meant to merely add a little romance to the piece. I really wasn't trying to fool anyone. In any event, I had fun writing it.

    By the way, Jackson knows that I (in his words) "fancy" Marianne, and disapprove of Brandon, from other discussions we've had. So I'm sure he would have known that I wrote the piece.
    Last edited by Ecurb; 08-15-2018 at 11:16 PM.

  13. #13
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Well, I think everybody was amused. By the way, a Brazilian soap opera author also newly discovered Jane Austen. He used several of her novels and set the story in a fictitious coffee valley in early 20 C Brazil. Here is a scene with Coronel Brandăo and Mariana. Mariana is dressed as a man (Mario), because women weren´t allowed to participate of motorcycle contests at that time.
    https://globoplay.globo.com/v/6888744/
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

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