IS IT PANCAKE DAY ALREADY?
Is it Pancake Day
Already? Oh dear
It’s really crêped up
On me this year
CWTCH
There is a general misunderstanding
That a cuddle is the same everywhere
Well allow me to clear up the muddle
Anyone can indeed hug, that’s true
But only the Welsh can cwtch, and
They’re so much better than a cuddle
MY BROTHER IS A PESSIMIST # 1
My brother is a pessimist
With all his nay-saying,
And a glass half full guy
With his speclionegging
PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 1
The old saying goes that “A volunteer
Is worth Ten pressed men”
Well volunteers are all well and good
But a pressed man looks really sharp
SHE WAS ALLERGIC TO FLOWERS
She was allergic to flowers
I wish she had said
Because I bought her roses
And now she’s dead
MY MOTHER IS JUDGE AND JURY
My mother is judge and jury
In our domestic establishment
She ensures we all do our bit
It’s known as Chore enforcement
THEY HAD A ROCK AND ROLL NIGHT
They had a rock and roll night
At the care home, all very droll
It was a quite sedentary evening
And was more like Crock and Roll
DO AS PHYLLIS SAID
Do as Phyllis said
And don’t take flight
When you have a row
Last thing at night.
Don't go to bed mad,
Stay up and fight
In Memory of The Late Great Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)
THE ROWDY CROWD AT THE RODEO
The rowdy crowd at the Rodeo
Undermined the mediocre choirs morale
Until the point that shots were fired
In the gunfight at the okay Chorale
MY WIFE WANTED BREAST AUGMENTATION
My wife wanted breast augmentation
Because she was completely flat
And I wanted to get an Eagle Tattoo
So we negotiated, kind of, Tit for Tat
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