the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special
it confesses without it
there is no lesson
and the worst is when it does
not listen
to admit in succession is
repercussion
it is only meant to last
a session
the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special
it confesses without it
there is no lesson
and the worst is when it does
not listen
to admit in succession is
repercussion
it is only meant to last
a session
Last edited by cacian; 06-17-2018 at 09:25 AM.
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
Cacian, I think that may be the best poem you have ever posted. Well done!
Pompey thank you very much for this lovely feedbackOriginally Posted by Pompey Bum
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
Sorry, but I did not get it...
double
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
My take:
"the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special
and the worst ....
it is only meant to last
a session"
I quite agree!
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
DW: What makes this poem outstanding is the way Cacian has arranged soft, whispering sounds (sh-sh-sh and s-s-s) against hard dental ones (t-t-t) to convey her attitude towards her subject. We get "confession", "impression", "something special", "confesses" and "lesson" in the first stanza, in which she advocates the content. This use of sound is insistent in its repetition but subtle in the softness of its alliteration and assonance. It is as if someone is urgently whispering into your ear.
Near the end of the first stanza, we begin to get hard dentals (sorry, but that's what they're called) in a negative context ("without it"). There remain softly whispering sounds in the second stanza ("listen", "succession", "repercussion", "lesson")--the poem retains its confidential tone. But the hard dentals in "worst", "it", "not", "admit", and "meant to last" add a dismissive or even contemptuous quality--like the disgusted "T"-sound people sometimes make or even (to be more playful) a "Tisk, tisk, tisk" sort of dismissal.
That is the poem Cacian has made. As for the didactic quality you seem to be seeking, you are free to join Danik in agreeing with her, or to disagree as others may, or simply to enjoy puzzling over her ideas. Universal agreement is far from the purpose of poetry.
I commend Cacian again for this excellent poem.
Last edited by Pompey Bum; 06-19-2018 at 03:44 PM.
Danik I am liking this new version
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
wow Pompey you knowledge of poetry is amasing . I did not know you knew all this .
I really enjoyable reading all of it. Great stuff
Last edited by cacian; 06-19-2018 at 04:47 PM.
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
Hi Dreamwoven I think Danik version is one understanding of it
and
Pompey's explanation is also very clear.
I hope this helped and thank you for reading
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
As is your talent, my friend.
Thanks, cacian!Danik I am liking this new version
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
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