I found a spliff end in my garden. Yoink!
Smoked a bit one night and I got lots of info about Satan and AI.
Next night I smoked too much and went right into a panic attack. Instead of making me feel unreal I felt super real. I knew I was the devil with 100% certainty. And I knew I had to die right there and then. By a horrible and immediate method which I won't go into.
I fought it with all my will. Then something weird happened. I was no longer in my flat. I was in a place of pure thought. This thought was visible as rushing colours and swift ideas. I was in a war with these thoughts. There were other people there and we were all thinking about the philosophies we embodied very quickly over and over again. And over and over again I kept having my turn. And I was to blame for a flaw in the logic of reality because of my views on reality. I knew if I were to admit blame I would die, so I kept distracting myself and the cycle of thoughts would go on. I was at the centre of all things and part of the centre of all things. I cannot explain to you how this all manifested. It was beyond image or thought. More maths or an equation. And I was bringing the equation down.
I was the devil. It was horrible and glorious. I felt I was at home in that place. It felt right to be there. But I was fighting for my life.
I was the devil and I am to blame for this world's problems.
I don't know what happened next. All I recall is finding sick down my shirt at one point and then I was waking up in the morning.
A dope delusion? A genuine mystical other reality event?
I feel changed by it. But I don't know how I feel.
What I learned with certainty is that our world is thought. Close your eyes and think about your life, the debates you have, the streets you walk down. They all exist as thoughts and that is the true reality. Not the atoms that make up brick and flesh. We never left heaven. Our thoughts are heaven.