Facing East

[Pompey Bum]

Soft rain, hissing, cold.
Nothing it could ever say.
Behind the dawn, behind the world,
Your song so far away.

[tailor STATELY]

Very nice Pb.

A bit of melancholy; a bit of faith (perhaps) evoked in your poem.

I'm pondering whether "hissing cold" might be a better alternative to "hissing, cold".

Oh how I love short poems with a grand vision.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pompey Bum]

Very nice Pb.

A bit of melancholy; a bit of faith (perhaps) evoked in your poem.

I'm pondering whether "hissing cold" might be a better alternative to "hissing, cold".

Oh how I love short poems with a grand vision.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Thank you, Tailor. Yes, faith. But no, hissing like a serpent and cold like death. I placed them that way deliberately in contrast to the otherwise inviting soft rain, and I separated them to double the emphasis. Good call on the theme, though. Not surprised you'd catch it.

[cacian]

Soft rain, hissing, cold.
Nothing it could ever say.
Behind the dawn, behind the world,
Your song so far away.

beautiful much enjoyed

[Pompey Bum]

Thanks, Cacian.