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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 241

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 241

    FRIENDíS FIRST, THEN SOUL MATES # 2

    Friendís first, then soul mates
    Then we spoke of wedlock
    Now are souls are intertwined
    Since we joined in holy deadlock

    FASHION POLICE

    After years of fret and worry
    About what I should be wearing
    And the pressures of looking good
    I have decided thereís no point in caring

    All the advice from fashion gurus
    Do wear this donít wear that
    Choosing clothes which flatter
    Avoid things that make me look fat

    After all the fashion tips Iíve had
    Iíve decided that enough is enough
    Iíve realized itís not what you wear
    But rather itís how you take it off

    THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH PRESSURE

    There is always so much pressure
    To be with people on a holiday
    But if there was only one
    On which to go your own way
    Then that one would of course be
    On Independence Day

    FORTUNE COOKIE

    When youíve finished your dinner
    A fortune cookie would suit yer
    But if there is no fortune in it
    That means you donít have a future

    THE INVENTOR OF THE ALLEN KEY

    The inventor of the Allen key
    Made nothing off it
    Despite the fact that
    It certainly turned a profit

    I VISIT MY GRANDAD REGULARLY

    I visit my grandad regularly
    Even though heís a little daft
    He has the windows open when
    He makes me play draughts

    APPARENTLY A GOOD COMPOST HEAP SHOULD

    Apparently a good compost heap should
    Get hot enough to poach an egg on it,
    But not so hot it would cook a lobster
    Well poached or not I am not eating it

    THERE IS A SIMPLE TRUTH IN LIFE

    There is a simple truth in life
    And itís an honest admission
    It is much easier to apologize
    Than it is to ask permission

    I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED

    I have always believed
    That itís quite absurd
    That ďabbreviationĒ
    Is such a long word

    THE SMELL OF BOOKS

    I think that the people who say they
    Love the smell of books are jerks
    Because itís perfectly clearly they
    Donít know how reading books works

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I've had fortune cookies without a fortune in them. That might have been the best fortune I've got recently. Good point about the difficulties of asking permission.

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