Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 238

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,105
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 238

    IF CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 3

    If clergymen can be defrocked
    Can a promoter be demoted?
    Should writers be described?
    And musicians be denoted?

    THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUBSTITUTION

    There is absolutely no substitution
    Or for that matter an easy solution
    For a genuine lack of preparation

    WEEKENDER BENDER

    George left work early one Friday
    And went out with the lads, on a bender
    He finally got home to his unhappy wife
    On Sunday night after a boozy weekender
    After hours of *****ing and moaning
    His wife asked him a simple question
    “Would you like not to see me for three days?
    “Very much” he said without hesitation
    He didn’t see her at all on Monday
    Nor did he see her on Tuesday and Wednesday
    After the swelling had begun to subside
    He could see her out of one eye on Thursday

    PREMATURE FALLASY

    Premature ejaculation is a myth, a fallacy
    Or more appropriately it’s a phallus-y
    Ejaculation is only premature for a woman
    Because it’s bang on time if you are a man

    THE EXITED STATES OF AMERICA

    The exited states of America
    Have an upcoming election
    And a Trump victory will make
    The united states of aggression

    MY WIFE DROVE HER FIRST HUSBAND

    My wife drove her first husband
    To shoot himself in despair
    But she only drove her second
    To the bottom of a bottle to be fair

    SUICIDE IS PAINLESS, ACCORDING TO THE SONG

    Suicide is painless, according to the song
    I think it’s supposed to be a witticism
    But I have always thought of suicide
    As the most sincere form of self-criticism

    CHANGING SCHOOLS

    Things have certainly changed
    Since I was a boy at school
    No one carried drugs or knives
    Not even the dumbest fool
    Any search of pupils in my day
    Would merely have resulted in
    The seizure of a handful of fags
    And the confiscation of a catapult

    IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IS # 2

    It is a sad fact of life that is
    Inherently unfair
    If there are four ways
    In which a thing can go wrong
    A fifth way will occur

    BODY IMAGE

    I am not perfect
    My figure is not the best
    Some bits I really hate
    But I do quite like my breasts
    I have flabby thighs,
    Which I would happily condemn
    But fortunately my stomach
    Obscures the view of them

  2. #2
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    11,057
    loving all these great pieces Biggus
    my favourite one is the second one it is brilliant
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,419
    Blog Entries
    2
    Nice ones! It occurred to me after reading the sad fact or life that there are always more ways than are possible for things to go wrong which is a good reason not to go on that weekender bender.

  4. #4
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Prairies, Canada
    Posts
    9,273
    Blog Entries
    185
    Enjoyed ... but the last one was a hoot!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  5. #5

  6. #6

  7. #7

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 151
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-23-2015, 03:43 AM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 131
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-13-2015, 04:34 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 130
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-09-2015, 05:08 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 129
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-05-2015, 04:47 AM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 128
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-01-2015, 07:23 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •